Alive
by nancy777ca
Summary: LeeOFC A young woman with special mental abilities is rescued by the Galactica crew.Female lead inspired by Firefly's River
1. Chapter One:Flatline

Chapter One

"This one's moving!" a frantic male whisper. Jessica Talbot fought against rising consciousness she knew would only bring her more pain.

"Kill her. We have to make sure they're all dead." another male voice, gruffer than the first. _Yes, please just kill me. Kill me now so the pain can finally stop._ Then she heard the gun cocking. _Soon momma. I'll see you soon._ She felt something brush against her bare thigh, and the warmth of a body kneeling next to hers.

"Lee, dammit, hurry up." the gruff voice ordered.

"Wait....." he said lifting her arm. _Don't..... Don't touch me...._ she wanted to scream but her voice had gone hoarse with unheeded screams. "Fraking shit...." she heard him gasp.

"Commander!" he called out. "Commander!" louder this time.

"What is it?"

"She's a civilian, Sir." he said.

"What?" the gruff voice asked in disbelief, then a second body knelt next to hers. She tried to pull her arm back but she doubted they even noticed. She no longer had the energy to even open her eyes much less pull away from them.

"Look. She's not a Cylon." he held up her arm, baring the numbers down her inner forearm and the tiny blue star.

"What's the star mean?" the one called Lee asked.

"I'm not sure. Let's get her back to the Galactica, maybe the Doc'll be able to tell." the gruff one said. "It could be a trick, but I'd rather not have another innocents death on my conscience. If she's really a Cylon and they thought to fool us. We'll finish the job there." Then Jessica was being lifted up and out of the room that had been her prison for the past two years. They weren't going to kill her. They'd see she wasn't one of the Cylons. She'd be free. As the man, not the gruff one- he was giving orders up ahead of them, carried her out Jessica buried her face in his chest and began to cry.

Kara Thrace took another long gulp of lukewarm water from the jug on the bed side table. The girl hadn't moved a muscle in three hours. Frak, who the hell sleeps that still? Kara always woke up with the blankets half off her bed but this one, geez. If it wasn't for the slight rise and fall of her chest Kara'd be sure they had her watching a corpse. Salik and both Adama men were on the other side of the glass having some sort of silent conversation that was making Lee's eyebrows crinkle in that way that meant he was having an intense moment. The elder Adama mirrored the physical gesture. The monitor next to the girl's bed began to beep quicker and louder than Kara thought they were supposed to be. Oh damn, frak, shit, damn! All she'd wanted was a peek at the apparent non-Cylon they'd rescued from the Cylon ship and she got caught and they'd stuck her with watching the human mannequin. What had started off as an exciting little peek had turned into a three hour boredom marathon that bordered on torture. And now she was beeping! Frakking beeping like crazy. Kara leapt out of her chair and was about to call for the doctor but the three of them had noticed the sound and come rushing in.

"What happened?" Dr Salik asked checking the patient's vital signs. She was shaking, trembling on the bed so violently that Salik had to hold her down. Then a loud piercing scream and an even worse sound. Flatline. "Oh no you don't!" the female doctor ordered the the now still again girl on the bed. "Frak! Commander, hand me that syringe." she ordered to the stunned man hovering and watching. "And Captain Apollo, the paddles if you please." Lee Adama, jerked into action while the doctor ripped open the girl's gown after injecting her arm with the clear liquid she hoped would start her heart again. Nothing.

Kara watched in a sort of horrified fascination. She'd seen people die before. Seen soldiers blown to pieces and seen them give up the ghost while lying on a gurney. And she started to do for this young woman what she'd done for them when there was time. She began to pray. Silent, her lips barely moving but her fingers clenched together. Until it hit her she wasn't sure what to pray for. Was the girl really gone? Would she be brought back? Should Kara pray for her departing soul or for a return to life. She'd never seen somebody flatline and come back, but Dr Salik had told her it happened sometimes. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace liked living life defying the odds so she prayed the lords of Kobol would see fit to bring the girl back. She physically startled when Dr Salik began jolting the patient with the electrical pads. Once....twice....three times.....four times.....five times..... All with the flatline screaming in their ears. After the tenth time Dr Salik lowered her head and sagged her shoulders. With trembling fingers she turned off the monitor. And the silence was deafening.

"She's gone." Salik said, her voice trembling.

"Frak me." Kara whispered feeling like she was about to lose her lunch. Commander William Adama took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Lee dropped into the chair by the door.

"Lieutenant Thrace, please get someone to come fill out the....um....the paper work. Lieutenant" Dr Salik said a little more forcefully. Kara started and got to her feet.

"Will do, Doc." Kara said, her eyes focused on the dead body on the bed. "Be a pretty empty form though won't it?" Kara asked.

Lee felt sick at his friends' words. Kara was right though. They knew nothing about the girl. Not even her name. All they had were the numbers on her arm and that little blue star. A seer, Dr Salik had said. One of those who could forsee things, knew things before they happened. Had she known this was waiting for her? Lee thought dryly. Had she known she was gonna die? Lee felt a shudder go through him.

"Please note, the time of death. Ten-thirty pm." the doctor said, tonelessly.

"She'll be buried with civilan procudure." William Adama said. "As soon as possible."

"Of course. I'll prepare her once the paperwork is done." the doctor said, sniffling. "Excuse me." she said turning to leave the room. It never got easier for her, Lee noticed absently. Losing a patient. Frak, he could never be a doctor himself. _No, you're better at killing them off than saving them aren't you_? Lee thought to himself with a surge of self-disgust.

"I'll got tell President Rosilin that we've lost her. You can return to your duties, Captain." William said looking down at his son.

"Yes,Sir." Lee said but didn't move as his father left the room. It was all for nothing. Frakking,Frakking, Shit! He'd pulled her from the ruins of the Cylon compound for nothing. Hell, maybe he shouldn't have moved her at all. Maybe he should have left her on the ground and she would have.......what? Lee tried to reason, she would have been fair game for the returning Cylons. He blinked back the burning in his blue eyes that was threatening to turn into tears. He stood and walked over to the bed where she lay. Black hair against the white stark white pillow, curling about her neck and along her shoulders. A soft white face. What color were her eyes? He'd never know. She'd lost consciousness again after he'd carried her out towards the rescue plane. Her sobs had been hoarse and barely audible but he'd felt her wracking body against him. What had she endured? For how long? He'd tried to save her. He'd tried and once again failed. No. He wasn't anybody's hero. Put him in a plane blasting the shit out of the enemy and he was in his element. But sometimes he tried. Tried to be better, tried to be human and let himself feel and make the world better by more than just sitting in a Viper and fighting and inevitably he failed. And the pain of that hurt too much and it was enough to make him vow to never do it again. But then he'd forget and try again. And this girl was dead. Because he tried to play hero.

"I'm sorry." he said, the words dead and meaningless. What the frak did she need with his apology? She was gone.

A soft moan jolted him louder than any explosion ever had. Lee stared down at the still female form. No, he'd just imagined it. Frak, too many late nights shuffling paper work or out in his viper. Then she turned her head, a fraction of an inch but it was enough to cause Lee's jaw to drop and his heart to start racing. He took a step back from the bed. What the frak was happening? A ghost? Right. It was only a split second after the girl opened her eyes that Lee was screaming for the doctor but it was enough for him to see. _Her eyes are green._


	2. Chapter Two: Dead Not So Much

Chapter Two

Jessica opened her eyes very slowly and then shut them tightly as the glare of the overhead light sliced through to the back of her skull. She whimpered and tried to turn away from the pain of the whiteness but it followed her, surrounded her. She opened her eyes again. She was still there. Still on the gurney, under bright lights, with THEM. Poking, prodding, cutting into her to see. To know. To know her mind.

When the compound had been blasted, she'd hoped. Begged that somehow, finally, the enemy that had come to blow up the Cylon headquarters would rescue her. The man had come.....man, or Cylon? Jessica no longer could tell them apart in her befuddled mind. He'd injected her with something as the flames and smoke surrounded them and then left her there. To die? She owed him her thanks she supposed for trying to speed her release. But it hadn't worked. She'd woken up back in the same room where they had tied her down countless times. A wave of despair so sharp cut into her almost physically and she found herself curling up on her side in the all too familiar position of protection. There would be no salvation for her. She was dimly aware of a commotion of voices from some where close. Then it slowly occurred to her that she had turned over on the gurney.....She'd never been able to do that on it before. The restraints had prevented any movement at all. There were no restraints. She raised her arms to be sure. Then the voices got closer. There. In the room with her. She coughed violently, the action searing her raw throat.

"Easy. Take it easy." One of the voices said above her. Jessica raised her eyes. Same familiar lab coat but......no this one was a new doctor. She looked at the woman in confusion. Had the other one died? Oh, she forgot. Cylons didn't die. They expired. "Would you like some water?" The doctor asked in a soft soothing voice. Jessica turned in the direction of the woman's gaze to the man filling a plastic cup from a jug. Who were these people? She wanted to ask but could do no more than croak. He moved closer to help her drink that water and Jessica backed away and raised her arms frantically, sending the cup flying across the room. They had her trapped on both sides. The female doctor on one, the young man on the other. Trapped. She was always trapped. A burst of fury sent her forward clawing against the sheets and blankets to try and escape out the foot of the bed. If they were gonna kill her, she'd do her damndest to speed up the process.

"Grab her!" The doctor shouted. The man at her left wrapped his arms around her waist and dragged her backwards. Jessica struggled violently, scratching, kicking.

"Stop it!" He yelled in her ear, bringing blinding pain through her head. "Frakking, stop it!" She pushed her feet against the bars of the bed and sent them both sprawling backwards his body breaking her fall. The man smacked his head against the floor but didn't release her although she did get an earful of cursing. Then something was surging up in her stomach. Up through her chest and throat. With a groan she lifted her head, fearing she'd choke if she stayed laying flat. She turned her head, and with a grunt of satisfaction vomited, a good quantity landing on the man beneath her. That finally made his grip on her ease.

"Ah shit." He groaned. She turned over on her hands and knees and retched until her stomach was empty and her throat was on fire. She sat back against the bed and stared up at the man in front of her, trying to wipe the mess off his uniform. She noticed two more people in the room. An older man and a young woman, roughly her age. The doctor came around to her side and Jessica flinched scrambling to get away from her.

"It's alright. You're alright. You're safe now." The doctor said kneeling in front of her. Jessica grabbed the plastic cup at her side and raised it threateningly. Not much of a weapon but it was all at her disposal at the moment. "Do you understand what I'm saying to you?" The doctor pressed. Jessica raised her eyes, scanning the people in the room. Nobody moved to grab at her. Jessica sniffled, then grimaced at the stench of vomit. She slowly nodded. She finally got a chance to scan the room more clearly. No, this wasn't the same room as the one they'd strap her down in before. Where was she? Who were these people? The younger woman moved closer and crouched down beside Jessica.

"That's a hell of a trick you pulled there. Coming back to life. I think you made Lee nearly shit himself." The young woman said raising her eyes to the younger man. "Gotta show me how to do that so I can do it to him sometime." Jessica studied the young woman. Short cropped blonde hair, big blue eyes and a friendly full lipped smile. "You're a mess, kid. Why don't you let Doc Salik here clean you up, okay?" She asked. Jessica looked warily up at the doctor.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise. Can you tell me your name?" The doctor asked.

Jessica hesitated. They didn't know who she was. Where was she? She opened her mouth to answer but it hurt too much to make any kind of sound so she grimaced and shook her head. Pointing to her throat she tried again, making nothing louder than a sort of wheeze. Her voice was gone. She dropped her head on her up drawn knees in frustration.

"It's alright. You don't have to talk right now. Lost your voice?" Dr Salik asked her. At this, Jessica nodded.

"Can you tell me if your throat hurts at all?" Vigorous nodding.

"Will you let me examine your throat?" Jessica stiffened. "I promise if I do anything that frightens you, you can just tell me to stop........Or well, you can stop me. Will you trust me?" The doctor asked. Jessica looked at her then turned to the young woman at her side.

"Salik's good people." She assured her. Slowly, Jessica nodded.

"Okay, good. Now, what do you say we clean you up first? Captain Apollo, if you and Lieutenant Thrace will excuse us?" Jessica looked up at the young man. There were a few lines of broken skin on his arms where she had scratched him. He looked down at her and took a hesitant step back as the young woman the doctor had called Lieutenant Thrace helped Jessica to her feet.

"Okay, now can you explain what the hell happened back there?" Commander Adama asked Dr Salik. The patient had easily dropped back to sleep after she'd been cleaned up and given some medicine for her throat. She'd examined the young woman and been stunned at what she'd found.

"Somebody injected her with XL47. Likely to save her life by doing so but it took effect too late. It's a drug that slows down all brain, coronary and respiratory functions so that they can't be detected by the monitors. Virtually simulating death."

"So she didn't actually die?" President Laura Rosilin asked.

"Not technically no."

"Frak, you could have fooled me." Lee said shaking his head.

"There's intensive scarring along the brain. As if they cut into her head. Repeatedly."

"Lords, why?" Lee asked with a shudder.

"To get information. They knew she was a seer. That's what the numbers and the star mean." Dr Salik replied.

"All the civilian prisoners we rescued had numbers." Commander Adama injected.

"Yes but it's the series of numbers. Seven, Five, One, Two. Basic numerology. Seven and five is twelve." All three looked at the doctor blankly. She sighed. The Adama's were hard fact technical men. How could she explain something as abstract as numerology? The belief that the numbers in one's names and birthday's were aligned with the stars and provided information on the character and destiny of a person. "Twelve is considered a perfect number. Spiritual perfection. She is more highly tuned to psychic impulses than other people."

"And so you think the Cylon's knew this and gave her those numbers and the star to single her out for some special purpose. To use her." Laura Rosilin said.

"I do. It would explain what they'd done to her."

"Which was what exactly, besides hack at her brain?" William Adama asked.

"Well in layman's terms the filter part of her brain has been damaged. The part that protects her in times of stress or panic. Pushing things to the back of her mind and dealing with them later isn't an option with her. She feels everything. And those feelings are amplified. Fear, rage, joy, passion, grief. And because of that she's able to tap in the emotions of those around her as well."

"You mean she can read minds?" Lee asked, not too sure he felt comfortable with that. Dr Salik nodded.

"That could be useful." William said.


	3. Chapter Three: Never Trust a Politician

Chapter 3

They left her alone for the rest of the night. Jessica guessed it was night from the sparse sounds of activity outside the room. She was grateful for the peace. Her stomach had settled after she'd emptied it two more times. A pang of guilt pricked at her when she remembered that she had first thrown up on that poor man. What had they called him?......Lee. She'd make sure she apologized later. Right now, she was just too tired. That was nothing new. She'd been tired for months. Torture could be exhausting she thought wryly.

Jessica stared up at ceiling. The light was now blessedly off and the room was bathed in soft darkness. She'd learned to fear the light. The harsh brightness off the light bulbs they had held over her as they examined her, cut into her. She never said a word. It had kept her alive. Her mother had made her promise never to give in. Never to tell the Cylon's what they wanted to know. Even after they killed her father. _Not a word, Jessie. Promise me. _ Even after they killed her mother and made Jessica watch, still she'd kept silent, biting through her tongue she could still feel the blood in her mouth in memory. It wasn't in her brain, her gift. It was in her blood. Passed on to her by her mother. Jessica sniffled against the tears that coursed down her cheeks. _Oh momma. Now what? What do you want me to do now? _ They had rescued her, these people. The gentle faced doctor, the smiling young woman, the older sterner looking man and the younger man. The younger man with the bluest eyes she'd ever seen that held a world of pain and guilt.

She didn't remember much of what she'd seen in his eyes and even now, trying to call back the information was too exhausting. There'd been too many images at once and Jessica hadn't known whose thoughts had belonged to whom as she was getting swamped by information on all three people in the room. She worked better when it was one on one. Her head hurt too much if she tried to read more than one person at a time.

Her parents had tried to instill in her the discretion of not invading people's thoughts and her father had even trained her on different ways to shut off that part of her gift. She thought she was doing well until she woke up this morning and been bombarded with images, words and feelings from every angle. She'd have to train herself again. But not now, not yet. She didn't have the energy to do anything but lay there. Later she'd try to figure out where she was to go from here. She was all alone now. But she was safe. She knew that instinctively and trusted that. After two years, she could finally trust that she wouldn't wake up to the horrors that had been a part of her everyday life Burying herself deeper under the blankets, she cried tears of gratitude until she fell asleep.

When Jessica woke up again she was looking up at the bright light bulb above her and for a disoriented moment she thought she was back with the Cylons. She let out a whimper and was about to bury herself under the blanket when a soft hand fell on her shoulder. Jessica looked over to the strange woman standing next to her bed.

"You're safe now. It's alright. You have nothing to fear here." The woman spoke softly, soothingly and Jessica felt her panic ease. She had dark shining hair and bright blue eyes. _She's sick._ Jessica felt the cancerous cells collecting beneath the woman's skin at her own breast. A rush of sympathy burst inside of Jessica and brought tears to her eyes before she could censor herself she reached for the woman's hand. She didn't have to ask if the woman was aware of the disease that threatened her life. The woman's face paled for an instant at the realization that Jessica knew something she had only told a select few. Regaining her composure, the woman gave Jessica's smaller hand a squeeze and tried for a small smile.

"Well, I guess that answers my question then. You really are a seer." Now it was Jessica's turn to pale. "It's alright. No one here is gonna harm you. I give you my word. They branded you. That's how we knew you have the gift." The woman lifted Jessica's arm and she was reminded of the numbers and small star they had burned into her skin. To set her apart. To keep her alive while the Cylons tested her. "Can you speak at all?" Jessica tried to say yes but her throat still burned painfully and she couldn't get out more than a choked wheeze. She shook her head.

"Guess that answers my question too, doesn't it?" The woman gave her a small smile, which Jessica echoed weakly. Then she held up the palm of her hand and mimed writing across it.

"That's a good idea. Do you think you're up to it? Can you write me your name and tell me what happened to you?" The woman asked. Jessica pointed at the woman and mouthed 'you first.'

"My name is Laura Rosilin. I'm the president of the 12 colonies.....Or, what were the 12 colonies." She replied. Jessica looked up at her, more than a little startled.

"Believe me, nobody was more shocked than I was when I was the only government official left." Laura admitted. Years may have passed but she still shuddered beneath the responsibility that had been thrust upon her. "Would you like me to get you a pen and some notepaper?" Jessica nodded.

"Alright, I'll be right back." Laura assured her.

The first thing she wrote when Laura Rosilin handed her the 5 by 7 pad of lined paper and blue ink pen was 'The light scares me. Could you turn it off?" Laura looked down at her and her eyes teared. She lifted a soft hand to Jessica's forehead and Jessica didn't flinch as the older woman brushed a lock of dark hair out of her eyes. Laura sniffled and cleared her throat.

"Of course. Is the lamp alright?" Jessica nodded. Laura switched on the softer light of the lamp on the table by the bed and turned off the light above them.

"Would you tell me your name?" Laura asked.

"Jessica Talbot." Jessica wrote.

"Where are you from?"

"Caprica." Jessica replied. Laura sat close to her so she could read off the girl's lap.

"How old are you?"

"20." Then she scratched out that number and asked. "What day is it today?"

"Today's July the fourth." Laura answered her.

Jessica gave her a sad smile and wrote on the pad, "I'm 21 today."

"Oh. Happy Birthday then." Laura said with a bright smile. "As soon as you're up to it, I'd say a celebration is in order."

"So would I." Jessica agreed.

"Would you like to tell me what happened to you? How long you were with the Cylons?" Here Jessica's smile disappeared.

"No."

"I know it must be very hard for you-" Jessica ignored her and began to scribble furiously.

"No, you don't, I don't want to talk about it. I'm too afraid."

"Oh, honey, I promise you. Nobody will hurt you here."

"They kept my parents and I there for two years. They picked us up after the Galactica left us all behind to die. I wish we had died. It would have been easier then." Jessica seethed with remembered pain and then...... guilt. A surge of guilt welled up inside of Jessica that didn't come from her own emotion. She looked up at Laura Rosilin who was no longer meeting her eyes. The older woman was taking quick steps back. _Oh God......_ Jessica thought as sickening realization began to dawn.

"You're tired, I'll let you rest-" Laura turned to leave. Jessica fought to speak but her throat wouldn't co-operate. She threw the pen at the woman. It landed at Laura's feet. Laura picked it up and then turned. Jessica crooked her finger, beckoning the older woman closer. Laura closed her eyes in resignation. Handing Jessica back her pen she already knew what her question would be before the young girl showed her the notepad.

"Where am I?"


	4. Chapter Four: That's Gratitude For Ya

Chapter 4

She already knew the answer. Laura could see the realization begin to dawn in the young woman's eyes. _She knows._ The green of her eyes became almost black in intensity and Laura watched Jessica lowered her head and scribbled more words.

"Tell me." What was the point in refusing her? The girl already knew where she was. But Laura could empathize. She wanted the satisfaction of hearing the answer.

"You're on board the battlestar Galactica." Laura replied. Jessica went very pale. Hearing the words had brought the surge of hatred blazing up within her. So high up into her chest that she couldn't breathe. She gulped for air shakily. Her body shuddered and she leaned back against the pillows. Jessica swallowed hard. She closed her eyes. Oh she couldn't think. She couldn't do anything through this haze of rage.

"Are you alright?" Laura asked her. _GET OUT! _Jessica wanted to scream. Get out you frakking bitch! But instead, Jessica settled for throwing the notepad and pen at her. Laura jumped back.

"Jessica-" Jessica leaned across the mattress and physically shoved at the woman. _I'll kill her._ _So help me, if she doesn't get out I'll frakking kill her. _ "Alright. I'll go. But I'll be back later. We need to talk and you need to understand-" The plastic cup caught Laura on the side of her head. Laura closed her eyes and let out a resigned sigh and turned to leave her alone.

Jessica didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the irony of it all. Saved by the very people who all but handed her over to the Cylons in the first place. She wondered if her father, who always managed to the find the humor in things, would find the humor in this. Why? Her mother had always tried to instill in her the belief that every thing had a reason. There was an order to the universe that we may not always understand. _Oh no frakking kidding momma! _ Unless...... Jessica's purpose here was to get her revenge. It made a clear sort of sense if one took the time to think it through. Karma and all that. Jessica lay back against the pillow and took a deep breath. She let it out slowly. Meditate. As her father had taught her. Or had tried to. He tried to hammer the point home that she needed to clear her mind and that never seemed an option for her. Her thoughts were always blasting through her, sometimes over lapping but always there. Her mind was never quiet. Now she closed her eyes and saw _his_ face. She opened her eyes quickly but he was still there at the back of her mind, hovering. Lee. That was his name. It made her feel sort of nauseous inside. Like her stomach was bouncing around up in her chest. Kill him? She wondered if that was why she'd seen his face. Focus! Everything was so damn muddled in her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut and there he was again.

"Frak. Go away!" She mumbled and then realized that she'd said the words out loud. Choked, and groggy but audible. She'd begun to worry there that she'd never get her voice back so that was no small relief. She cleared her throat and tried again. "What should I do?" Still wheezy but she was getting there. Was that her sign? Did this mean she was on the right track? She had to kill this Lee person? Sadness......oh no she didn't! She would not feel guilty about what she had to do. The son of a bitch deserved to die after what those monsters had done to her parents. But why him? Why not the commander? Unless.....Oh yes. Lee and the Commander were connected some how. His son. The knowledge made her tremble, with fear or anticipation, she chose not to decipher. The commander had taken her family from her. Now she would do the same.

The activity outside her room was still minimal this early morning. Those who were there were busy and paid her no mind. Jessica fingered the scalpel she held hidden in her sleeve. Could she do it? Actually kill the man. She'd thought about killing the Cylons repeatedly while they'd held her captive. But they weren't human. Jessica stopped in the corridor and leaned against the wall taking deep shaky breaths. Courage. She had to draw her from her hatred. Let it strengthen her. She called up the images of her mother's death. The small, fine boned woman with big blue eyes and brown hair standing proud, eyes never wavering from her daughter. Four Cylons. Two to hold Megan Talbot's arms outstretched. Two to riddle her with bullets. Jessica's knees buckled at the storm of fresh anguish. Jessica shook her head willing away the pain. The hate. She needed the hate. She walked until she sensed she was in front of the right door. Lee's face came to her mind yet again. Oh yes. She understood what she had to do. Jessica looked along the empty corridor watching for anybody else. When she was certain nobody would come upon her, she turned the doorknob and entered the room. The lights were off. Good. She did not need the light to find him.

Lee Adama couldn't sleep. He was usually still wired through the late hours. He hadn't gotten used to the new shifts his so-called lofty position allowed him. As captain of the air group, he was able to pick the shifts he wanted......or should have been but ever since the renewed Cylon threat the pilots had been pulling double duty. Himself included, which was fine by him most of the time. He was in the air during the day and while adrenaline still shot through his veins, he parked his ass in his office and tackled the paperwork of the day. Usually this was a tedious enough task that it knocked him out shortly after the adrenaline eased. Three or four hours were how long the left over rush usually lasted and he could get a good chunk of work done in that time but not tonight.

Tonight he was distracted and it was pissing him off. His mind kept drifting to the young woman in Life Station. A seer. Frak. As if he didn't have enough problems without worrying some chick was gonna see into his mind. But there she was. In his mind, but it was him thinking of her which made it all the more annoying. They knew nothing about the girl. Just that she was a civilian.......or so Dr Salik believed. Who knew these days? Cylons no longer were easily recognizable by the big ass tin cans they used as hosts for their consciousnesses. So that was why he was thinking about her. Lee reasoned. He was simply wary. He was being.....Well, he was being Lee Adama, Lee thought with a smirk. Always cautious. Always careful. Always one more catastrophe away from his first grey hair. He got flak for it but Lee didn't know how to be any other way. A tight-ass, they called him behind his back.....And well, Kara called him that to his face. But it kept him alive, kept him working efficiently. But pretty little psychic chicks were not a part of his duty outline. No. But the safety of the Galactica was his responsibility too. That was why Lee was watching her. Or, less obviously, having a few security men watching her. Inconspicuously of course. Someone who knew they were watched would never show their true colors. So they stayed out of sight, just in case. If Little Miss Seer turned out to be working for the enemy, they'd find out soon enough. And then.....Lee gave a tired sigh. He'd do what he had to do. As always.

"Sir?" A knock on the door and a familiar voice jolted Lee from his thoughts.

"Come in." Lee called out. The door opened and one of the security officers.......frak, he was always terrible at names. Mark....or Max.....or Mike or some such, popped his head in.

"You wanted to know if she left Life Station." The man said. Lee felt a tightening in his gut and heaviness in his chest. Regret? _Don't be frakking stupid, Adama. You can't afford regret_. He nodded at Mr. Whats-his-face and tucked his pistol into the waistband of his pants.

Jessica walked through the dark room towards the thick male snore. Lee Adama was a loud sleeper, she noticed with a distant fascination. She was almost tempted to turn on the light to watch him. Her limbs shook. Not from fear, she told herself, from lying in the bed for too long. She let the blade she pulled from the medical cart slide down her sleeve to rest against the palm of her hand. She fought to hold on to the certainty that Captain Adama deserved to die but the strength of that conviction was ebbing. Uncertainty was beginning to creep through her veins. Something was off. Something was wrong. Realization began to dawn that she had made a mistake somewhere but her brain was still to addled to figure out what the mistake was. Pushing her weakness aside she bent over Lee Adama's bed. She pictured him lying there in her mind even though she couldn't physically see him. Her fingers felt for his pulse. Strong and steady. One quick slice across the pulse and her parents could rest in peace.

"Wake up, Captain." She whispered hoarsely. As soon as her fingers touched his skin the truth shot through her with icy terror. _This isn't Lee Adama's room. _The knowledge came to her at the same instant that cold metal pressed against the back of her head.

"Drop it." A familiar male voice ordered behind her. That same voice had been the last thing she'd heard on the Cylon ship. _Damn it. _Jessica threw her arm backward blade in hand. But he was quicker. Grabbing a fist full of her hair Lee stepped back but not before the blade nicked his stomach. "I said drop it!" He yelled pushing the gun barrel painfully against her skull.

"Do it." She said softly. "Pull the trigger." _Why not?_ What did she have left? The man in the bed woke at the sound of voices and leaned over to turn on his lamp. Jessica felt a surge of self-preservation and used Lee's distracted focus on his father to push against him and away from the line of fire. He snaked an arm around her waist before she could bolt for the door and sent them both crashing to the floor. He landed on top of her painfully. Lee's hands came up instinctively to protect her head from hitting the floor. Ridiculous considering he'd just had a loaded pistol pressed against the same head.

His breath was hot against her face and Jessica shuddered.......No. Not 'shuddered', shivered. Shivered at the warmth of him. Her body shifted beneath his and she saw his blue eyes glitter in the lamplight. The images assaulting her senses next sent her blood racing. A tangle of limbs, sticky with sweat. Chest with a sprinkle of golden hair tickling breasts. Blue eyes, hot with desire staring into hers from above her. Bodies arching against each other and being filled all the way up into her very soul. No.....No....Jessica shook her head to clear the images away but they remained. _Yes.......yes......_ Jessica watched herself whisper into his ear as he lost himself inside of her. As if Lee was reading her mind she suddenly felt a very prominent part of him making itself known. Panic welled up inside of her. Not him! Frak, anybody but him! "Get off of me." She seethed.

"What the hell is this?" Commander Adama asked groggily staring down at them from his bed. Lee started and then eased off of her, staring up at his father. His face pink with embarrassment although he hadn't done a damn thing wrong.

"On your feet." Lee demanded pulling Jessica upright, anger at himself making him rougher with her than he intended. But frak if he'd apologize. The girl was lucky he hadn't blown her brains out. "She tried to kill you." He explained to his father. William Adama startled with surprise. He glared at Jessica who stared back defiantly. He slid off his bed and walked towards her.

"We save your life and this is your idea of gratitude?" He asked.

"No, this is." Jessica said and proceeded to spit in his face. He took a deep breath, no doubt to stop himself from retaliating and removed his messed glasses.

"I was hoping you'd have been worth saving. It's to your detriment that I've been proved wrong." He informed her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I not play my part well enough? Was I supposed to fall on my knees in gratitutude?" Jessica sneered.

"We could have left you behind to die." Lee said pointedly.

"I wish you had!" Jessica burst turning her head slightly to face him while he stood behind her, gun still pointed at her.. Her throat was starting to hurt again. Jessica swallowed before speaking again. Her voice thickening with emotion as the memory of her parent's deaths came to her again. "At least I'd be with my family. You killed them just to save me. Why? Huh?" She blinked back tears.

"What are you going on about? We're trying to give you a chance here for a real life. A safe life. You could work here for us. Your gift could help us. Who were your parents?" Adama asked.

"Megan and Alexander Talbot. Not that you would know them. You killed so many of us I can imagine it'd be hard to keep track". The tears were flowing freely now. Jessica wiped at her cheeks, ashamed and realized she was still holding the scalpel. Commander Adama saw it too and he took a step back. But instead of attacking him Jessica spun around to face Lee.

"You expect me to thank you for saving my life?"

"Drop the blade." Lee ordered pointing the gun at her chest.

"If I die, you son of bitch, it won't be by your hand." With that she pressed the blade against her throat. Lee's blue eyes widened with panic and for a split second she felt sorry that she would be adding her death to his already tortured conscience.

"No!" Lee cried dropping his gun and grabbing her. He shook her, trying to get her to relinquish her grip on the blade. Commander Adama stepped forward and made to grab her wrist. Jessica kicked him, sending him back onto his bed. She struggled in Lee's grasp but his arms were like iron, digging painfully around her ribs. She turned her head and tried to bite him. Her heart was racing painfully in her chest. Almost as if it would burst out of her chest. Then a strange sound filled her ears.....Almost like a soft thudding against her back....no inside, through her skin.....A second heartbeat. Fast but steady. In answer to the beat of hers. His heart......She was feeling Lee's heart....hearing it with hers. She whimpered with the pain of it. A soul tearing pain that burst through her and made her buckle her knees. Trying to hold her upright, Lee lost his balance and they both hit the floor again. Then Jessica was sobbing. Sobbing hard and he was holding her. Not so painfully now. Almost cradling her against him. Still, she felt his heart and the pain in it made hers feeling like it was breaking.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry." She couldn't stop Lee's pain. She couldn't stop her own pain. She couldn't stop the Cylon's from killing her parents. All she could do was feel and know. This useless gift. How she hated it. It was because of her gift that she was spared. It was because of her gift that these men had saved her. Commander Adama kneeled next to the two of them. His face was softer now. Sympathetic. Jessica turned away from it. She didn't want his useless sympathy. All he cared about was what she knew. Rage filled her again and she reached for the blade she had dropped at their feet. She was cursed. Not gifted, cursed. Before Lee could register what she was doing, Jessica dragged the blade across the numbers on her forearm, drawing blood. She cried out in both physical and emotional pain.

"Stop that!" Adama said reaching to stop her hand as she scratched and tore at her skin, tearing at the blue star, blood running down through her fingers and onto Lee's thigh. Lee bent her wrist, snapping it, making her drop the blade with a fresh cry of pain. And then it all became too much. The physical pain, the grief, both hers and from the two men in the room. It all overloaded her senses and Jessica fainted.


	5. Chapter Five: Thanks But No Thanks

Chapter Five

Jessica opened her eyes reluctantly when she became aware of voices in the room.Seeing Kara Thrace standing next to the bed Jessica groaned and tried to turn away from her but Kara grabbed her arm and pulled her back to face her. "Oh no ya don't. You got some explainin' to do."

"I don't owe you any explanation." Jessica scowled.

"Ah, that's where your wrong. See you tried to kill someone I care about, and you hurt Lee too."

"Thanks." a male voice got Jessica's attention and she saw Lee sitting on the examination table being tended to by Dr Salik. Lee looked at Jessica warily, as if afraid she'd spring up from the bed and attack him again.

"Anytime." Kara said and then turned back to Jessica. "So Talbot. What's the deal here? We try and make nice by saving your ass and you try and slit Commander Adama's throat." she spoke casually enough but Jessica could feel the young woman's barely restrained fury. She cared about these two men. They were her family, or close enough to it....but there was something missing. A link in the chain that bound the three of them. William and Lee Adama, and Kara Thrace.

"Who's Zak?" Jessica asked suddenly. Kara blanched and behind her, so did Lee.

"Frak, are we done here?" Lee asked Dr Salik, desperate to bolt.

"Hold still, Captain." Dr Salik insisted stitching up the wound on his stomach.

"I'm sorry." Jessica said watching him trying to breathe through the pain.

"Oh that's nice. This you apologize for. You tried to murder our commander and you apologize for a nick"

"I'm not apologizing for that. I mean about your brother. That's who Zak was, right? He died?" she looked to Kara for confirmation.

"If you're Ms Know-It-All why even bother asking?" Lee snapped. Jessica cringed and turned her attention back to Kara.

"You left us behind." Jessica said blinking back tears. "Two years ago. You left us behind when you ran. The Cylons captured us and when they found out that.....well, what I could do...."

"Dr Salik told us." Kara said a little more sympathetically. "They tried to figure out how your brain worked."

"They killed my parents. When I wouldn't tell them what I knew." Jessica closed her eyes, When would the anguish be easier to bear? The heaviness of it pushed against her chest making it hard to breathe.

"I understand revenge. Trust me." Kara assured her, her blue eyes softer now. "But you have to understand that we had no choice."

"Lieutenant Starbuck may I remind you that we do not have to justify our actions to civilians. Mentally enhanced though they may be." Lee said curtly.

"Captain Apollo, shaddap." Kara tossed back. Jessica watched Lee's reaction to this. _If it'd been anybody else......._ That message came through loud and clear. Lee was not one to take atitude from any of his pilots but he and Kara were almost like family. Or maybe more? Jessica wondered watching them.

Lee caught her probing glance and decided to test Ms Know-It-All. _If you can read my mind, kiss my ass. _ Jessica scowled at him.

"You're a rude bastard." she said.

"Sorry, knife wounds make me testy." he said.

"Alright children. Captain, you're all done here. Come see me tomorrow to check the dressing." _Not if Ms Know-It-All is still here. _Lee thought sliding off the table and storming towards the door.

"Don't worry, Captain, I'm sure I'll be gone, by then." Jessica called out. Lee stopped but didn't turn around.

_Frakking smart ass little bitch._

"I suppose I can't really blame him." Jessica conceded though she wished she didn't. It was one of the drawbacks of knowing people's thoughts and emotions, along with the justifications for those emotions. Made it hard to hold a grudge.

"Lee's good people. He just left his personality back in Caprica." Kara explained.

"You were married to him."

Kara visibly startled. "To Lee? God no. We'd kill each other before the ceremony was over."

"No, Zak." Kara lowered her eyes but not before Jessica saw the flicker of pain.

"Engaged." Then she shook her head as if to shake off the subject. "Lee was having you watched."

" I figured as much. He doesn't trust me. I wouldn't trust me either." Jessica said. "Could you turn the lights down?" she asked looking over Kara's shoulder to Dr Salik.

"How come the light bothers you?" Kara asked. Jessica shrugged embarrassed but grateful when the lights dimmed.

"It was always so bright where they.....would work on me. I know it's stupid but lying here like this. It's almost like being back there. My mind is still screwing things up." Jessica explained feeling fresh tears burn in her eyes. Frak, would she never stop crying?

"That's to be expected for a while. Until the drugs you were given wear off we won't be able to accurately tell how to proceed in terms of your mental abilities." Dr Salik informed her. A knock on the door made all three of them turn. Commander Adama stuck his head in.

"Can I come in?" he directed his question to Jessica. It was hard not to respond to that small sign of respect. She nodded. "Lieutenant Starbuck. Doctor, if you two could leave us for a few minutes." Kara looked hesitantly at Jessica and the back at Commander Adama.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Go on." William said. When they were alone, he waited a minuted before speaking. "I'm very sorry for what you suffered. I know that's small consolation-"

"You're right." Jessica snapped. Just when she thought she would do better to try and forgive, the old anger surged up in her until it choked her. His words angered her. Those she loved were dead and he thought to cancel out that with mere words.

"I'm not going to try and defend the decisions I made." He said curtly. "They were a necessary if unfortunate result of war. I'm not here to offer excuses. I'm here to give you a chance to fight back."

"Aganist which enemy exactly?" Jessica shot back.

"We're not the enemy, Ms Talbot."

"Because of you, my family was wiped out. You took your ship and got the hell out of dodge, which I would have done too but you left thousands of people behind to die. You are not my friend, Commander. With everything inside of me, I hate you. I went to your room, not to kill you, but to kill your precious son. That's right. So that you would feel what I felt." the words came out of her mouth in a rush of blissful relief. The commander sat by her bed and handed her a kleenex from the box on the table. Jessica hadn't even noticed that the tears were streaming off her chin, down her neck. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob. It was all too much. One moment she was angry, the next she was sobbing. The commander offered no words of comfort. He simpy sat and waited for her to get her emotions under control. When she was sniffling but no new tears threatened, William spoke again.

"Do you think you could detect any Cylons in our fleet?" Jessica blew her nose and stared at him.

"You want me to sniff out the Cylons? Actually go looking for them?" Jessica's eyes widened with horror at even the idea of it.

"We have 21 ships in our fleet. Thousands of people.The Cylons could easily integrate themselves into our crews and we'd never know it until they decided to show themselves. We have a specialist, Dr Gaius Baltar who's helping us with those who are suspected of being Cylons but we need to strike earlier." Jessica glared at him.

"So you need me. Or, more accurately you need what I can do." she said quietly. Her anger churned in the pit of her stomach.

"That's right." he nodded.

"Go to hell."Jessica's arm shot out with a slap, knocking the glasses off his face. Kara burst into the room, gun ready.

"No!" William shouted at her. "Stand down, lieutenant."

"Sir-" Kara protested.

"That's an order." William insisted. Kara spared Jessica a last warning glance and lowered her arms. She placed herself against the wall, and William didn't object to her presence. He leaned down and picked the glasses off the floor.

"You think about it." William said to Jessica.

"There is nothing to think about. The answer is no. Frak you and your fleet."

"Call me an optimist but I think you'll change your mind." William said rising to his feet.

"I'll call you an idiot instead." Jessica sneered. William shrugged with a small smile.

"I've been called worse. I'll see about getting you some breakfast."

"Thank you." the words came automatically to her and without thought. Jessica closed her eyes wishing she could take them back.


	6. Chapter 6: A Friend In Need

Chapter Six

After throwing up for the umpteenth time, Jessica slept for another few hours and dreamt strange, disjointed dreams. Frightening dreams of floating through the dark of space. Cold and alone until she was reaching for his hand. But his fingers were always beyond her reach.

"Go away." Lee would tell her in his dream. "You'll drag me down. Go away." Yet even as he said the words he too was straining for her hand.

Then she'd dream of her mother holding her as a baby. "You must listen to him. Do as he tells you. Be a good girl. That's my good girl." She'd coo at the infant. But looking at herself as a baby, Jessica saw another baby with striking blue eyes. "No, momma. That's not me. That's my baby." She tried to explain.

"Don't be silly, darling. You don't know her name so how can she be your baby?" Her mother smiled at her.

"Give me my baby, momma" Jessica reached for the infant.

"What's her name?" Jessica began to sob. She didn't know. Her mother rose to leave.

"No momma wait. Please!"

Then she was sitting on a judges throne. Row upon row of people in front of her. She pointed at each one in turn.

"Cylon...Cylon...Cylon" she accused one after the other were led away to be killed. Lee, Kara, Laura Rosilin, Dr Salik, and Commander Adama. She pointed at each and accused and smiled as they were taken away. A young Asian woman stood next to her and smiled.

"Well done." She said to Jessica.

Jessica came awake with a start. Her heart racing in her chest. She gave a grimace at the throb in her arm. Damn Lee Adama. What kind of frakking hero breaks the damsel's bones? It may have been a while since her mother had regaled her with fairy tales but Jessica was pretty sure the hero never caused the princess bodily harm. Okay, so she'd had a blade in her hand at the time but hell, she wasn't threatening him with it...at the time. Jessica looked down at the gauze and cotton wrapped around her forearm. She hoped the numbers were gone. And the star. Jessica shuddered. The Cylons had branded her. She wanted no more reminders of them. Dr Salik had left the lights dimmed thankfully. She stared up at the ceiling and then turned her head to the drawn curtains. A small measure of privacy but Jessica was glad for it. Too much of a good thing was never good though and she was beginning to feel the effects of being cooped up in Life Station for the past...How long had it been? Two days? Three? Jessica pushed back the blankets and gingerly placed her feet on the cool floor. Her head fogged slightly but righted itself quickly She looked around for slippers and found them on the other side of the bed. She pulled the door open and was greeted by a very intimidating looking uniformed man. Startled she took a step back. "I was hoping to take a walk." She explained.

"You'll have to wait for the Commander's okay." He replied curtly. Jessica scowled at him but didn't even bother disputing him. He stood there looking at her.

"Can you go ask him?" She pressed.

"Just go back to bed, miss. Commander's a busy guy. You can ask him yourself when he comes to check on you."

Jessica groaned. "But you just said he's busy. Who knows when that will be? I just wanna get out of this room."

"Sorry. Got my orders." Just then she spotted Lieutenant Thrace walking towards a corridor. Jessica lowered her head under the guard's arm and called out to her.

"Excuse me, lieutenant? Lieutenant!" The woman turned and walked towards her.

"What's going on?" Kara asked.

"I want to get out of my room for a little while. Please, I'm going stir crazy." She pleaded.

"The commander wants you to stay put, considering you tried to kill him and all." Kara reminded her. Jessica raised her hands.

"Look. See?" Jessica said showing off her lack of sharp instruments. "Come on. You can walk with me. I just need to get out of here for a few minutes."

"I'll have to ask the commander." Kara replied and Jessica's face fell. Crap. She was hoping that Kara would be enough authority to get this He-Man to let her by. Apparently not.

"Can you do that now?" Jessica asked.

"Sure. Wait here." She said. Jessica smiled at her in grateful relief.

"Don't give me that look just yet. He might say no."

He didn't. Commander Adama, with Dr Salik's prodding allowed Jessica twenty minutes of slow walking. With Kara as her guard. Jessica wasn't gonna complain. Kara led her down a dim lit corridor. The few people that passed them looked at her curiously but went about there business. Until they came to the cafeteria.

"Have you eaten?" Kara asked her.

"Not really. Food loses its appeal once you keep seeing it in reverse" Jessica admitted.

"How 'bout some coffee?" Kara offered leading her to the counter. Kara grabbed a tray and placed some packs on it as well as pouring the both of them the coffee. They sat opposite each other in one of the corner tables after Jessica resisted sitting in the center of the small clumps of people. Two many thoughts bombarded her from all sides if she got to close. Kara ripped open one of the packs and dumped them into a small bowl After lifting the lid off the bowl of boiling water the lady behind the counter had provided her with poured some water into her smaller bowl Jessica watched the process. Kara swirled what was quickly becoming white noodles.

"Not quite Jimmy Chong but it'll do." Kara explained with a shrug. "You sure you don't want some?" Jessica shook her head and reached for her cup of coffee. The acrid taste shocked her. She shuddered and some of it dribbled down her chin.

"What is this?" She asked staring down into her cup. Forcing herself to swallow, Jessica wiped at her chin.

"Coffee." Kara reminded her.

"Nooo, Coffee is a yummy warm, rich, sweet thing that does not taste like feet. Ack!" Jessica wiped at her tongue trying to remove the taste.

"Sorry, no place to harvest coffee beans since the world ended." Kara explained.

"Dr Salik's I.V is looking more and more promising." Jessica said with a grimace.

"Hey Starbuck. Who's your friend here?" A bulky looking man, somewhere in his late twenties placed his hands on their table and gave what Jessica assumed he thought was a smile.

"Big teeth" Jessica said with a shudder as she looked up at him, uneasily. Kara choked on her noodles.

"She's my lesbian lover. Beat it Morgan." Kara warned. Jessica stared at her open mouthed. Kara just gave her a little nod to go along with her claim.

"I am not." Jessica insisted. Kara rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I can't lie. Could you go away?" Jessica insisted.

"Hey that's not very nice. Why don't I let you make it up to me later on honey?"

"Sorry, I'm not interested. You're too scary looking." Jessica squeezed her eyes shut. God how she hated this part of her damaged brain. It had gotten her into so many fights on among the other Cylon hostages but she couldn't help it. Kara burst out laughing. "I'm glad you're amused." Jessica said sarcastically.

"Come on babe. We could get to know each other-"

"I don't want to have sex with you okay? Now please get lost." Other heads turned their way and Gary Morgan stormed out of the cafeteria red faced.

"Oh man. I should have frakking charged admission for that! Lords!" Kara said slapping her hand on the table. "So you really can't lie? Frak, that's tragic." She said when Jessica nodded. "I hold a degree in it myself."

As Kara ate Jessica watched her. And was assailed with images from the woman's past. She'd been raised in an orphanage after her father had tried to sell her to an undercover cop at age 11 for money to buy booze. Her mother had died in childbirth. She had a sharp mind but no discipline and had been thrown out of school by the age of sixteen. She'd worked a few dead end jobs until she got herself together and decided to join the military. There was no other choice for Kara really, and when she proved adept in the cockpit there was no going back for her. Her demons were not exorcised but at least held at bay up in the sky. They could not reach her. No pain could touch her. She was recommended for training at the Academy and it was there she met the Adama's-

"Hey, knock that off." Kara snapped suddenly, making Jessica jump in her chair. "You want to know something about me, you ask. Got it?"

"I'm sorry, I..I" Jessica stammered, her cheeks burning at being caught.

"Don't do it again." Kara replied firmly. Then she stood. "I'm on duty in about half an hour so we'd better get you back to Life Station. If you want to go out again, wait for Salik." Jessica rose with her, a sick sort of sad feeling of familiarity. It had never been easy for her to make friends. Once it was discovered that she was able to tap into their deepest secrets they always put as much distance between themselves and Jessica as possible. She could see that aboard the Galactica, things would be no different. Sniffling back tears, Jessica followed the woman she'd hoped would be a friend, out of the cafeteria.


	7. Chapter 7: Spiritual Guidance

Chapter Seven

"Commander Adama wants to meet with you." Dr Salik said as she helped Jessica into a fresh white t-shirt. Freshly sponge bathed, Jessica shivered, her skin still slightly damp. It felt good to be clean. "I suggested he come by this afternoon. There's someone I think you should talk to first. Elosha. She's our priestess." Jessica slid off the bed and slipped on a pair of uniform pants. She went to fasten the button and remembered she only had one good hand. She cursed Lee Adama for the fifth time. Dr Salik saw the girl's dilema and helped her with the zipper and top button.

"Thanks. But I'm not all that religious." Jessica told her curtly.

"Oh, I'm sure religion doesn't have to come into it at all, if you tell her so. She's just a good listener. At the beginning of the war she helped many of us get through the horrors we had seen." Salik explained. "It could help you to sort out your thoughts with her. Calm your mind. The sooner that happens the sooner your brain can heal itself physically." the doctor offered. Jessica admitted it was a sound idea. If she could get control of her frayed nerves then perhaps she could begin to undo the damage in her mind. "And she won't try and preach at me?" Jessica asked warily. She'd had her fill of religion listening to prayers that were never answered.

Salik gave her a small smile. "Just tell her how your feeling."

"I'm feeling like I've lost my mind and I'll never get it back." Jessica replied softly. Salik placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

So much for no religion. Jessica thought as Dr Salik led her into the large chapel room.

"I can stay with you if you like?" Dr Salik offered but Jessica shook her head. The room looked more like an auditorium with it's rows of steel backed chairs but there was a different air about the place. A softness. tapestries of different religious scenes were displayed like victory pendants along the wall. The words "Lords of Kobol, hear our prayer." were spread out in yellow cloth above the podium. Behind the podium, protected by a pane of glass were thick long sheets of paper, rolled up into scrolls. Jessica felt the moment that the priestess entered the room but neither aknowledged the others presence just yet. Jessica liked that. The older woman was letting her make the first move. She tilted her head to read through the glass, some of the words on the scroll. The creation story. She'd learned it in school and then learned a different version from her mother.

"You think they saved you." Jessica said finally turning around to face the woman. Elosha smiled at her serenely.The colorfully robed black woman glided more than she walked towards Jessica.

"They did." she said with a quiet confidence that spoke volumes to Jessica.

"I don't believe that."

"You will." Elosha replied, not with the assertion of precognition, but with the certainty of one who had made her own discoveries.

"You stopped yourself before you pulled the trigger. The Lords weren't there." Jessica reminded her. It irked her more that the priestess didn't bother arguing with her. "You're alive because you chose to be. That's all life is. A series of choices." Jessica insisted.

"Have a seat, please." Elosha offered pointing to the chairs in the first row. "If you so choose." she added with a smile. Jessica titlted her head at the woman but found herself smiling. The woman put her at ease so simply. Jessica took an aisle seat and sat quietly for a while, staring up at the scrolls.

"I feel like my mind isn't mine anymore." she began, her eyes burning.

"If not yours than who's?"

"Theirs. The Cylons. My parents, Commander Adama's. Even Dr Salik. But not mine." Jessica blinked back tears. My every thought is consumed by them. Their emotions. The Cylons did what they wanted with my brain and now I'm spread in a thousand dfferent directions. Picking up everything and I can't seem to remember how to turn it off."

"Have you tried meditation?" Elosha asked her.

"Salik said it was too early. The drugs the Cylon's doctor gave me have just begun to wear off. Dr Salik doesn't want me doing anything to push my brain before it's ready. In the mean time, I'm like a frakking satellite dish with no off switch. Even you." Jessica lowered her head, tears falling into her lap. "I can feel what those men did to you. Taste the gag they stuffed into your mouth. You were a virgin." Jessica placed her hand over the older woman's. She felt the priestess shiver at the memory but stronger was Elosha's sense of peace. "How?" Jessica asked shaking her head. "How can you believe in Gods that allowed that to happen to you? My mother believed in one God that was omnipresent. Loving and merciful. And then she watched her husband hang and then was she herself riddled with bullets. Are you gonna tell me that your Gods are different? I have no interest in either your Lords of Kobol or her God." Jessica stood up and walked back over to the scrolls. "When they were about to kill her, she looked at me. She looked right at me and never wavered. And she was smiling. A smile so...so...pure." Jessica wiped at her cheeks.

"There is your answer." Elosha said and Jessica turned back to her in confusion. "You can choose to call it whatever you like. The Lords of Kobol, your mother's God. Or simply love. Love was there in that room with your mother and I believe that is why she smiled at you. Her God, her love for you was her shield from anything the Cylons could do to her. They cannot touch her now."

"Because she's dead." Jessica hissed. "You explain to me how a loving and merciful God can allow the Cylons to exist."

"Man created the Cylons." Elosha reminded her.

"But if the Lords are all powerful why don't they just stop them?"

Elosha stood up and pulled a leather bound book from inside of the podium, then walked back to Jessica. Elosha extended the book towards her. "Would you like to read this book?" Jessica reached for it but Elosha let it drop to the floor. The young woman stared up at the priestess in surprise.

"If the Lords of Kobol or your mother's God decreed that you could not read that book, would you still want to read it?"

"I don't even know what the book is-" Jessica said reaching down for it. A bible.

"That is why the Lords allow evil to exist. So you can make your own choice. Some will choose evil. But that is the price you, Jessica must pay if you want to read that book. Do you understand?" Jessica stared at the priestess, dumbstruck. But slowly she nodded.

"Now, if you choose to control your own mind. Then you will. You may feel that you have no control over your mind and how it reacts to things but you do. Or, you will. If you want me to help you, I can." Jessica stared down at the gold lettering on the cover of the book.

"Can I keep this?" Elosha smiled at her and nodded. Jessica rose up from her seat. "I'd better go meet with Commander Adama. Why did you choose not to die?" Jessica asked as the question came to her.

"They would have won. The Lords had more work for me to do." Jessica pondered that answer.

"I'd like to come back." Jessica said.

"I'll be here." Elosha replied softly.


	8. Chapter 8: Tap Dancing

Chapter Eight

Jessica knew she could stand outside Commander Adama's door all damn day and she'd never be certain she was making the right choice. You were never supposed to make life-altering decisions when you were drunk, drugged or sleepy and right now, her mind felt as if it were all three. Right or wrong, she knew what her decision was though. She just wasn't sure she had the courage to do it. No, not true. She knew she didn't. There was also the little voice in her head that whispered _traitor_. Wasn't that precisely what she'd be if she helped the people who had left them at the mercy of the Cylons? Then the white hot fury came that burst through her mixing with the mind numbing terror at the thought of going up against the Cylons. Only this time, she'd have the whole goddamn military behind her.

Before Jessica could think herself in circles, she forced herself to knock. She heard William Adam's gruff voice beckoning her inside.

Jessica clutched Elosha's book to her chest and stood against the wall while the commander poured her some coffee. Remembering the foul taste, Jessica simply held the cup in her hands.

"I'll do it." She said as William lifted his mug to his lips. He gave a short nod and took a long gulp. Jessica pursed her lips in annoyance. "You already knew I'd say yes."

"You're the seer, not me." William said with a warm glint in his brown eyes. "I know what a powerful motivator hate cane be and as much as you hate us, you hate the Cylons more."

"You're sure about that?" Jessica asked tartly. She was as unnerved as she imagined others were when she could see through them so easily. Commander Adama merely lifted an eyebrow. Jessica turned to glance around his room.

In the light of day it looked even smaller. One narrow bed. A fold up table he used as a desk. A small filing cabinet next to it. Between his door and the door to a narrow shower was a compact, three drawer dresser. Three framed photos were propped on top.

One photo was of Lieutenant Thrace, dressed in civilian clothes giving a salute with a thick cigar tucked playfully between her teeth. Another was of a blonde woman being squeezed between Lee Adama and a man Jessica hadn't met but knew was the late Zak Adama. Studying the woman, Jessica could see that Lee favored his mother more than his father in appearance. In temperament though...Jessica gave a suffering sigh, he was all Adama. Looking at the last photo, Jessica marveled at how the differences between the two brothers were evident even at this young age. Zak's grin was wide, cheeky, all teeth while Lee's smile was hesitant. His joy was all in his blue eyes, not on display. A younger William Adama stood behind the two boys, the proud father. "I'm sorry for your loss." Jessica said, her eyes burning with tears for the broken family.

"It doesn't get any easier. You just push it further back so you can function." William said behind her.

Jessica stared back at the blonde woman. "You never stopped loving her, even up to the day she died." Jessica bit her tongue, well aware of the ridiculously personal statement and yet unable to stop herself. William gave a bitter laugh and shook his head.

"I suppose we should all get used to you being in our heads."

Jessica lowered her head, embarrassed. "Dr Salik said she's gonna try some drugs that'll keep me from spewing everyone's business all over the Galactica."Jessica assured him, greatly impatient for that moment.

"That might not be the best thing. It might affect your ability to detect the Cylon plants." He leaned against his desk, mentally weighing the pro's and con's. "But we'd also have to worry about you blabbing that you're working as a detector."

"You're priestess said that might be able to help me train my mind to keep my mouth shut." Jessica shrugged.

"That could be a better alternative. We don't want drugs affecting your judgment. The fewer people who know about this, the better.

"I agree." Jessica nodded sitting on the bed.

"Outside of myself, Captain Apollo, Lieutenant Thrace and Dr Salik and President Rosilin, the only other people who will be aware of your purpose will be my XO Colonel Tigh and Dr Gaius Baltar."

"I haven't met them yet. Have I?" Jessica asked.

"No, you'll be working closely with Dr Baltar. He's our scientific expert on Cylons." Jessica grimaced in dismay.

"Scientists are not overly fond of me. Once they realize that they can't easily define how it is that I do...well, what I do, they convince themselves that I'm faking it somehow."

"Are you?" William asked. Jessica didn't even bat an eyelash at what should have been an insult.

"When you were ten years old you won a tap dancing competition. You keep the ribbon hidden in a secret slot in the box with your first wing pin." Jessica said with a smile at the commander's startled face.

"I didn't think you were faking." He assured her.

"I know you didn't."

"Your real function on the Galactica will remain confidential. For appearances sake I'll hire you on as my secretary. Can you type?" He asked trying not to laugh as her face fell.

"Your secretary? I'd rather eat dirt than work for you." She blurted then bit her tongue.

"Well, the lunch menu is pretty close. This is the best way for me to keep an eye on you."

"You believe me but you don't trust me." Jessica said stiffly.

"Trust is earned."

"That's right." She said pointedly. William smiled at her.

_You may not like me, Ms Talbot but you do trust me, _ He thought, knowing full well that she'd be privy to the thought. Jessica narrowed her eyes at him.

"I can't type worth a damn." She said, putting down her cup and getting to her feet. 

"You'll learn." He said curtly.

"Damn." Jessica sighed. He was right and he knew it. She did trust him and damn it all to hell if it wasn't outside of the realm of possibility that she may actually come to like him. "I think you're a pompous jackass."

"Get in line." He said, fighting a chuckle.

"Maybe you're a Cylon." Jessica crossed her arms over her chest.

"You'll get your own room." William informed her. Jessica's mouth broke into a wide grin.


	9. Chapter 9: Chivalry Ain't Dead

Chapter Nine

She should have known there would be a catch. Yes, Commander Adama had given her her own room, even if it was half the size of his own and with no private bath. But he had placed her smack in between his room and his son's.

"Trust, my eye." Jessica scowled hanging up the extra pair of sweat pants Dr Salik had provided her with. She glanced at the wall separating her room from Lee's. Jessica could hear him moving about in there. It occured to her that she'd more than likely be able to hear him if he were...entertaining. Her scowl deepened. The thought made her queasy and her chest tightened with jealousy."Ah, shut up." She told herself, trying to put the negative emotion out of her mind but not being able to. It swirled persistently in her chest to settle in her stomach, setting up lodging. "Why should I give a damn? Frak whomever you please, Captain. I just hope to hell you're not a screamer." Jessica stuck her tongue and blew a raspberry out at the wall towards Lee Adama. Jessica again wondered if Lieutenant Thrace had provided Lee with any, entertainment but dismissed the idea. The vibe she got between them was more of a sibling nature than lovers. Jessica had felt the love that Kara Thrace had borne for Zak Adama. It was a powerful thing and the loss of him had nearly destroyed Kara. It reminded Jessica of the love between her parents.

She'd never been in love like that. Never felt that stupifying passion that encompassed every part of her and linked her so thoroughly with another human being that they truly became one entity.Jessica thought she had, once. The memory of that betrayal filled her with a bitterness and shame so strong that she began to shake, the top of the hanger she held began to poke through her skin painfully and she dropped it. Jessica looked around the room for something to shatter so that she could release the rolling fury building inside of her. Finding nothing but the hanger which wasn't as effective as she wanted, Jessica settled for throwing one of her shoes against the wall. A few seconds later there was a knock on the door and Jessica grimaced guiltily, thinking it was one of the Adama men coming to scold her for banging on the walls. Her guilt turned to a nervous jolt when she opened the door to find a very inebriated Gary Morgan staring down at her.

The girl was talking to herself, Lee mused as he got ready for his shift. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and once again wondered what the hell his father was thinking trusting a woman who was apparently 2 cards short of a Pyramid deck. Lee couldn't quite make out what she was saying but when he made out his own name and something about screaming, Lee was tempted, only for an instant, to grab his coffee mug and press it against the wall for a listen. After a soft thud from her side, Lee heard a man's voice. Lee's stomach tightened in irritation. He'd have to have a chat with pretty little psychic chick and remind her that she was aboard the Galactica to work for them, not to frak her way through the fleet. He looked up at his clock on the wall and grumbled. Giving Ms Talbot a lesson in military decorum was going to have to wait until after his shift. Lee was on his way past her door when he heard Jessica scream his name. Lee always prided himself on being a man in control of his emotions. He was not a man driven by gut feelings, hunches or instinct. But hearing the young woman's scream of what could only be panic when he burst into Jessica's room, belatedly remembering he'd left his gun back in his room, Lee saw red. He'd never felt this particular mix of terror and rage, but watching Morgan tearing at Jessica's clothes while she tried to bite and kick him, Lee felt a burst of anger so potent he knew he was going to happily kill the man. Lee leapt on the heavy set Morgan, crushing Jessica beneath them both before dragging Morgan to the floor.

"You frakking son of a bitch!" Lee shouted connecting with Morgan's dazed head repeatedly. "What the frak do you think you're doing? Bastard!" Lee grabbed Morgan by the collar and slammed his head into the floor three, four then five times.

Jessica scrambled to the edge of her bed and covered her face with her hands. She was gonna throw up. Remembering Gary Morgan's alcohol filled breath on her face as he hovered on top of her, Jessica felt the bile rise in her throat. Feeling the tartness of blood in her mouth, Jessica realized she'd bitten her tongue. Shivering more from the ordeal than the fact that the few clothes she had were torn, Jessica between to cry, deep shaking sobs. Then she felt a surge of anger which doubled when she sensed Lee's blinding rage. _ He's going to kill him._ Jessica thought watching Lee pummeling Gary Morgan.

"Do it!" Jessica snapped sniffling. "No, not a good idea." Her conscience insisted. "Who knows what they'll do to you, Lee." Jessica mused out loud. She had to stop him. Morgan was no longer moving. Now, coupled with Lee's rage was Jessica's own fear that Lee would go to prison if he killed Morgan. "Lee..." Jessica hiccuped. He gave no indication that he heard her. "Lee!" Jessica said a bit louder crawling back towards him. "Lee, stop!" She shouted. Her voice seemed to register because Lee's head shot up. His blue eyes were clouded in a haze of hate and Jessica shrank back slightly, startled. Someone rushing into the room made them both start. Commander Adama followed a tall bald man, both with their guns drawn.

"Captain Apollo, what happened here?" The bald man asked.

"Tigh." Jessica said. "You're Colonel Tigh." The bald man turned to her and his eyes widened at her dishevelled state.

"That's right. Care to explain what the hell happened, young lady?"

"This moose attacked me! That's what happened" Jessica stood up and kicked at Gary Morgan's unconscious form for good measure.

"Alright." William pulled Jessica back from Morgan. "Captain Apollo?" He asked. Lee got to his feet, rubbing his bloodied knuckles.

"I came in and Morgan was on top of her, forcing himself on her." Lee seethed.

"You're certain she was...uh...discouraging him?" Tigh asked.

"You bet your ass I was!" Jessica spat insulted.

"And it did not occur to you, Captain to simply draw your gun and restrain, Mr Morgan?" Tigh asked.

"Let's get Morgan to Dr Salik and then we'll have a formal inquiry." William insisted kneeling down by Morgan and feeling for a pulse. "Well he's alive, just barely. Colonel Tigh, if you'll send for the doctor?" Jessica felt a mix of dissapointment and relief. Dissapointment for herself. Relief for Lee.

"Are you alright, Ms Talbot?" William asked. Jessica wrapped her arms around herself when she realized she was half naked and tried to stop shaking. She barely managed a nod.

"I...uh...I need...I don't have anymore clothes." Jessica said, fresh tears springing to her eyes.

"We'll get you some." William assured her softly.

"You're not going to put him in jail. Are you?" Jessica asked directing her question to the Commander but looking at Lee. "He was only helping me." She noticed that Lee had trouble meeting her eyes, choosing instead to stare at the floor.

"Don't worry about that right now. We'll just have Dr Salik look over the both of you and take things from there." William informed her. He left them alone while he went to hunt down a fresh shirt and sweats for her.


	10. Chapter 10: Pictures Of You

Chapter Ten

He was furious with himself. Now that the fight had ended, Jessica sensed the depth of Lee's shame over what he had done. She stepped forward and placed a hand on his arm, the simple touch sending shivers through her skin.

"Lee...It wasn't your fault. You save-" Lee cut her off quickly.

"I'm late for my shift." He moved towards the door.

"But, your dad said we still had to see the doctor."

"I'm fine." He snapped. Jessica stiffened at his curt tone.

"Your hands are practically dripping all over my floor." She shot back. His blue eyes flashed in annoyance and he shook off his jacket. Throwing it on the floor he stepped on it and began wiping the few drops of blood.

"Better?" He demanded.

"Lee, You have no reason to feel bad about-"

"Don't!" He snapped. "Don't you frakking tell me what I should or shouldn't feel. Everyone else may be impressed with your party tricks but I'm not."

"God you're an asshole." Jessica seethed. "You'd rather I just lay flat on my back so you're precious morality wouldn't be offended. I'm sorry I even asked for your help." Lee stepped back and closed his eyes.

"That's not what I meant." He assured her. "I'm sorry."

"You know what, Captain Apollo? You can take your apology and blow it out your ear! It is not my fault you're feeling guilty for beating the crap out of that over sized baboon when he completely deserved it." Jessica shouted at him, then her face crumpled and she began to cry. Lee stiffened uncomfortably. Lords, her crying was making him feel even worse. He took a step towards her and she tried to push him backwards.

"Leave me alone!" Jessica mumbled but her words were muffled in his chest as his arms came around her.

"Shhh..." He murmured stroking her hair awkwardly but Jessica didn't care. She unloaded her fear and relief in great hiccuping sobs, clutching his shirt in her hands. Gradually his arms tightened around her and the akwardness was gone. When he heard her sobs ease he spoke again."Are you alright?" Lee asked softly. Jessica nodded and pulled back to look up at him.

"I...yes. I'm okay. Are you?" She asked, taking his hands in hers. He seemed to find this funny and laughed. Jessica joined him until her feelings over what she had narrowly escaped swamped her again and she began to cry again, her head dropping forward on his chest.

"Thank you." She whispered tearfully. His arms squeezed tightly still wrapped around her. "He doesn't take rejection very well." Jessica joked.

"Apparently not." Lee replied with a snort, his anger welling up again.

"Do you think you killed him?" Jessica asked.

"Don't worry about that." Lee said.

"I'm not. Not with you around. You gotta teach me how to hit like that." Jessica said sniffling. Lee gave her a small smile that did funny things to her chest.

"Deal." Lee agreed.

"So, I suppose this means we have to be friends now." Jessica said, burrowing closer to his warm hard body.

"I don't know about that. I mean you did stab me."

"And yet you still beat someone up for me. I think you do like me, Captain Apollo." She murmured.

_Lords help him_. Feeling her warm breath against his chest was sending his blood rushing to really inconvenient places. He wanted to disengage...really he did, and yet she had a death grip on him.

"Nah." He said hoarsely. "If I liked you, I would have killed him."

Jessica smiled a little remembering his fury at seeing Gary Morgan over her and she shivered as she remembered how close Lee had come to killing the man. For her. The warmth inside of her increased and Jessica leaned up and kissed Lee's cheek.

"I promise I won't stab you anymore." Jessica said. A soft blush rose up in Lee's cheeks and he cleared his throat.

"Oh well, that's certainly a load off my mind." He said chuckling. Jessica sensed his surprise at the small bubbles of laughter inside of him. Lee Adama did not laugh often and Jessica began to feel his unease at letting his guard down especially with someone he wasn't quite sure he trusted.

A soft whisper of sadness curled in her chest. Jessica knew that she should pull away, give Lee some space but she just couldn't make herself mover from the warm firmness of his chest. _He's the one._ The words came softly but with an iron gripped certainty around her heart that mader her physically start. "Hell no..." She said under her breath pulling back. Images began to attack her, making her tremble with their sharpness.

_Lee's mouth on the nape of her neck as they sat in a dark cave, the sunlight peeking from it's mouth and danicing over the skin of his arms as he held her._

Lee holding her hand in his as they stood before Elosha and made vows. Jessica could feel the warmth of the gold band around her finger. "In this life and the next." She read the words out loud that were engraved on the inside of the band.

"What did you say?" Lee asked going very still against her.

"I..." Jessica stammered as her vision began to blur and the images in her mind continued.

_Lee's mouth, hot and wet against her stomach. Hot...Lords...felt so hot. The scent of him filled her, different from the soap he used now, as he rose up above her and she accepted him eager, wanting into her body._

"Jess, are you alright?" Lee asked, concerned as she began to sway against him. The sound of his voice penetrated her mind but with different words "_I love you...Lords...I love you..."_

Then another flash. _A baby...THE baby with the beautiful blue eyes. His blue eyes. His baby. "Momma, give me my baby!" Her baby...and Lee's. _Jessica jumped and looked up into those matching blue eyes. He was looking down at her. At her mouth.

"Yes..." Jessica said, her mind beginning to spin. "Lee..." Her eyes held his, spellbound and he began to lower his head towards hers. ""You're going to kiss me, aren't you?" She asked. Jessica never heard his answer as everything went black.


	11. Chapter 11:Hot Flashes

Chapter Eleven

Jessica dreamt of her father. The father that wasn't Alexander Talbot. The one whose blood flowed through her veins. The one she'd never known. He was walking beside her down a warmly lit street that reminded her of the countless suburban neighborhoods back on Caprica...and yet, Jessica knew she had never been here before. This was not home.

"She must be raised here." Her father told her, his voice deep and strong with a hint of the raspiness she shared. "They think it does not exist, your people." Jessica turned away from him with a scowl.

"They're not my people."

"They will be. You must lead them here." He took her hands. His green eyes were a deeper shade than hers and yet Jessica felt as if she were looking into a mirror.

"They'll never stop hunting you." He said, cupping her face in one hand.

"The Cylons?" Jessica asked with a shudder of dread.

"As long as they think you know where Earth is, they will hunt you."

"But I don't know where it is! I only know it exists. What good does that do me?" Jessica asked helplessly.

"You do know. Your mother told you. You have only to remember." Her father assured her, kissing her forehead.

"Everything is messed up in my head." She insisted, fighting back tears. "I don't think I can remember."

"You will. And you will bring your daughter here." Her father stepped back and crouched down onto a richly green lawn, patting the space beside him. Jessica joined him on the ground and drew her knees up to her chest.

"Why? Why does it have to be here?" She asked.

"So that the war can finally end. This will be your new home." He kissed her cheek and stood up. She watched him walk away, wanting to call him back, ask him more, but the words would not come.

"Home..." Jessica sighed lowering her head onto her knees. "I wanna go home...wanna go...go home..." Jessica murmured, slowly drifting awake. Opening her eyes, Jessica recognized Dr Saliks concerned gaze.

"Welcome back." The doctor said with a small smile. Jessica looked around, realizing she was back in Life Station. Remembering why, she groaned into her pillow.

"Ah crap."

"You only passed out. Your system's a bit weak still and it had quite a shock fighting off Mr Morgan. Add to that, Captain Apollo said that you were talking about the temperature in your room being too hot-" Jessica searched the room for Lee. Not finding him, she felt a surge of both relief and dissapointment.

"_Lords, the last time I'd seen him he looked like he'd been about to kiss me!"_

"Is that right?" Dr Salik asked, having heard her. Jessica jumped in her bed, then remembering her verbal diarreah, closed her eyes, wishing for the floor to open up and swallow her.

"I...well...he was just trying to make me feel better...I...he..." Jessica shook her head. "Forget I said anything, please. I'm just making myself feel worse."A tightening in her belly taunted her with the fact that she wouldn't have minded the kiss in the least. How in the world was she gonna face him after the things she had seen? Her face blushed hotly at the very idea.

"Do you want to tell me about what you saw?" Dr Salik asked, fascinated.

"No I do not." Jessica said firmly, her cheeks must have explained all that the good doctor needed to know because the woman smiled sympathetically.

"He smashed up his hands pretty badly. I gave him some pills to help him sleep through the pain. If ever a man needed a night off it's the CAG."

"He strikes me as the type who'd rather be working." Jessica admitted.

"He would. But luckily, the commander listens to me and not his son. I want to keep you here for another hour to get your blood sugar back up. Funny, Captain Apollo gave me that same look. Why don't you take a nap? I'll wake you when you can go." Remembering her uneasy dream, Jessica shook her head.

"Can I get some paper and a pen?" She asked. Dr Salik nodded and returned shortly with a notepad and pen. "How is Morgan?" Jessica asked, holding the notepad to her chest.

"He's in one of the other rooms right now. Unconscious so you have nothing to fear. They'll be moving him to The Astral Queen when he's well enough. Despicable, what he did to you. You were very lucky Captain Apollo was there."

"Yes, I was." Jessica agreed, wishing she could tell him so.

"Well, I'll be back to check on you in an hour." Dr Salik said, leaving her with some privacy for the moment.

Well, she was certainly glad Morgan was gonna be alright. But only for Lee's sake. She was especially glad that Gary Morgan was being moved to the prison ship. The farther away from her the better.

Going back to her dream, Jessica bit the end of the pen. Her father told her that she knew where Earth was. She had only to remember. The Cylons had tried all they could to get her to tell them. Her mother made her vow to keep it secret until it was time to reveal it. Ironic that now was the time, and she couldn't remember. Jessica jotted down the specific details of her dream which she could recall, hoping something she'd seen would jog her memory.

The streets had seemed familiar to her and yet she knew she'd never seen them before. She went to write down the street name and then frowned. Number. All the streets she'd known had names...not there. Twenty-fifth street. Jessica glanced down at her bandaged arm and then lifted it and fingered the gauze. She peeled the tape back slightly. The skin was still pink and raw. It had begun to itch lately. The numbers were gone. Jessica was swamped with relief. She would remember them for the rest of her life. Seven.Five.One.Two. And the star. Can't forget the star, Jessica thought bitterly. That was gone too. The numbers played themselves over in her head, Seven.Five.One.Two...Two...Five...Twenty-Fifth Street. The house they had stopped in front of had been numbered seventeen. Jessica physically jolted at the realization. But what did it mean? Jessica wondered, straining her mind for more.

Jessica's thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Looking up, Jessica was greeted by Laura Rosilin's...make that President Laura Rosilin's hesitant smile.

"You must really like this place." Laura joked.

"Maybe my subconscious is telling me I want to be a doctor."

"Do you?" Laura asked coming into the room at Jessica's nod.

"Hardly. Blood makes me queasy...well, everything makes me queasy these days...and dizzy...and weepy, can't forget weepy. I'm pretty much suffering from the worst case of PMS in history." Jessica told her.

"Hmm, wait until menopause." Laura warned, sitting by her bed.

"Ah, something to look forward to." Jessica said rolling her eyes. It felt good to actually be able to talk with the woman when Jessica's former method's of communication consisted of throwing objects at President Rosilin's head.

"I'm sorry about before...the cup and all that." Jessica offered.

"I've been knowing to throw a few things in my time. Though since taking office I've tried to refrain from throwing them at actual people." Laura said with a comforting smile that Jessica know there were no hard feelings. The president's easy forgiveness made Jessica's eyes burn with tears.

"Oh for frak sakes." Jessica sniffled as Laura smiled sympathtically and handed her a kleenex. "That's it. When Dr Salik comes back, I'm asking her for a sex change."


	12. Chapter 12: A Tangled Web

Chapter Twelve

She hadn't looked at him once. That was just fine with Lee. Or at least that's what he told himself. Jessica had kept her eyes focused on his father and President Rosilin when she had entered the conference room. One glance his way and she jolted like a startled rabbit and hadn't met his eyes since. She took the seat next to the empty one on his side so she could focus her attention across to Commander Adama. Most people were scared to death of his father. Not Jess. She apparently was more terrified of Lee than the commander. The thought made him feel like laughing and annoyed him at the same time.

"Colonel Tigh and Dr Baltar will be joining us shortly. I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you, Ms Talbot for agreeing to help us." Laura said.

"It was either that or you'd leave me on that floor right?" Jessica said leaning against the back of her chair. Lee turned to stare at her and William shook his head.

"That's not true."

"Right. You didn't see the damn star and figure you could use me." Jessica asked them. Lee stiffened in his chair. He did not like what the young woman was insinuating one bit. "Not that I'm not grateful and all but let's not pretend I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a seer."

"Lee was the one who picked you up." William informed her.

"And just so you know, I had no idea what the star on your arm meant. I resent that you would think we only rescued you from the Cylons so we could trade on your abilities." Lee snapped curtly. Jessica had the grace to blush, ashamed. She turned to look at him and lifted her shoulder.

"I didn't know that. I apologize." He could have said he understood but Lee wasn't feeling particularyly magnanimous at the moment. His hands still throbbed like a bitch and it was all her fault...well, no. He admitted to himself. It was Morgan's fault but the result was still the same. Lee was in pain and cranky. He turned his focus back to Rosilin and his father.

"I imagine your nerves are still a bit raw after what you've been through." Laura offered sympathetically. She was good at that, Lee observed, putting everyone at ease. Diffusing potential difficult situations. And Ms Jessica Talbot was a difficult situation wrapped up in a pretty little package.

"There's something I wanted to bring up before Dr Baltar and Colonel Tigh arrived." Jessica offered. "Commander, I'm confused about something."

"Go ahead." William nodded.

"Do you believe that Earth exists? Cause I'm getting mixed signals. One moment I sensing that you do and then I feel like you don't." William cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Ah...well." Again the commander cleared his throat and Laura came to his rescue.

"Well, For all we know, Earth is a myth. When the Cylons first attacked, the commander thought it would be best if the people had a goal. A focal point."

"So yes, I told them Earth existed, in reality, no. I don't believe it does. As President Rosilin explained. A myth."

"But it's not." Jessica said.

"Not what?" Laura asked.

"A myth. Earth is real." All three of them turned to stare at her. Lee remembered very clearly the day he found out that his father had sold them all a line of bull. He thought his father had done all he could to dissapoint Lee but Lee had reached a new level of pissed that day. But, like always, He and his father had put aside personal feelings in order to be able to work together and after a while, Lee's anger had abated but now here was this damn woman bringing up all Lee's old irritation. He was certain it would be this girl who'd give him his first grey hair. No doubt.

"No, it isn't." Lee insisted. "Believe me, we all thought it was for a while." Here he stopped to give his father a meaningful glare. "Whatever they told you-"

"Captain, I know Earth is real because that's where my mother came from." Lee was sure he looked like a gaping fish with his mouth dropping open like that, but on the list of things one doesn't expect to come out of a person's mouth, claiming to be a descendant of earth was definitely up there.

"Miss Talbot, really. I think your still under a fair amount of stress-" William protested.

"Commander Adama, I know this sounds bizarre."

"Well, that's good cause it sounds like you believe what your saying." Lee said.

"It's the truth, Captain Adama." Jessica said, her obvious irritation making her forget that minutes ago she couldn't even meet his gaze. The thought made him almost smile. "Not only does Earth exist, but I know where it is." Jessica said narrowing her eyes at him. Lee raised his eyes to the ceiling asking the lords for patience.

"Care to draw us a map?" Lee cracked. Here she hesitated. _Ha, Got ya, ya little fraud_.

"I'm not lying!" Jessica burst.

"Miss Talbot you made a statement about your mother, care to elaborate?" Laura asked.

Jessica's cheeks were flushed with anger and she sent Lee a scathing glance then deliberately turned away from him and focused back across the table.

"My mother told me that...well...that she travelled here from earth when she was pregnant with me." At least the grimace on her face relieved Lee with the assurance that she realized how insane her story sounded.

"The legend has Earth being destroyed centuries ago. Is it possible that your mother was confused because of what she was experiencing while you were being held captive?" Laura asked her softly. Jessica closed her eyes and appeared to be thinking very hard.

"I...I don't think so...I'm sure she told me this before...I think..." Jessica said.

"Well, I guess that settles it doesn't it? Your mother was obviously not in her right mind towards the end and got her myths mixed up with reality." Lee explained.

"That's not true!" Jessica cried standing.

"It's alright, Jess." Laura offered.

"No. I know what my mother told me...it's only that it's a bit jumbled in my head right now. But I do know that she told me Earth does exist!"

"Right, Then where is it?" Lee countered getting to his feet as well. They were interrupted by Colonel Tigh and Dr Baltar entering the room. If pretty little psychic chick was angry before, she went positively pale now.

"Welcome Colonel, Dr Baltar. This is Jessica Tal- Ms Talbot, are you alright?" Laura asked. Lee stepped closer to Jessica, afraid she was gonna pass out again.

"You..." Jessica murmured staring at Dr Baltar. Lee looked at Gaius Baltar but saw no recognition on his face. Just growing discomfort. "It was you...all of it...because of you..." Lee could see her visibly shaking and she was clutching on to the back of her chair so tightly her slim knuckles were white.

"I'm sorry. Have we met?" Gaius asked.

"Jess, what is it?" Lee asked, tentatively placing a hand on her shoulder. He never saw her reach behind her to pull his gun from his pants and had the gun pointed at Dr Gaius Baltar. A damning split second before Lee went into action, Jessica fired.


	13. Chapter 13: Heroes And Villains

Chapter Thirteen

Jessica was toppled roughly onto the floor; the breath knocked out of her and once again found her pinned beneath Captain Apollo. Really, for a man who hadn't said one nice word to her since they'd met, he seemed to like her on her back an awful lot! Her head smacked painfully into the floor and Jessica felt a split second of pity for Lee when she'd first fallen on him when they'd met. Then she felt shooting pain scream across her head and her vision blurred from the impact and didn't think of anything for an agonizing moment. The gun had gone flying out of her hands when Lee tackled her and she fought beneath him. Again, the visions of the two of them wrapped up in each other assailed her. Jessica squeezed her eyes shut to try and drive them out of her mind.

__

"You drive me crazy...Are you trying to do that?"Lee murmured as she dove again under the water and took him into her mouth. Jessica knew exactly how he'd taste, mixed in with water from what looked like a river of some kind.

"Happy Birthday, Baby." Lee smiled lifting his hand from her eyes. In the middle of the room was a tub filled with warm soapy water. Before she could ask where he'd found the tub Lee scooped her up in his arms.

She could feel his eyes on her as she walked through the control room with the president; Lee was craning his neck to keep looking at her. Jessica passed him and his father, bent over unrolled maps and she brushed her fingers along the back of his neck in greeting. Jessica felt his pulse jump and groin tighten in response as she walked away. She couldn't resist swaying her hips ever so gently to torment Lee until Commander Adama brought his son's attention back to the task at hand with a hidden indulgent smile.

Jessica brought her knee up between Lee's legs more in protest of what her mind was telling her than anything else. Luckily, Lee caught the gesture and closed his legs above her before her knee reached its destination. His eyes burned at her in warning.

"Frak you, you son of a bitch!"Jessica shouted at him. "Did I get him?" She asked trying to look beneath the table to see if their Dr Baltar had been shot down. He hadn't. Jessica cried out in frustration. "You should have let me kill him! Save you from tossing him out of your air lock!"

"All right, on your feet both of you!" Commander Adama ordered. Lee pulled her roughly to her feet and pinned her wrists behind her and it was then that Jessica saw that Colonel Tigh's arm was bleeding. Jessica froze in panic. _Whoops_ What was the penalty for shooting a military official even if it was accidentally? She looked over at President Rosilin for some kind of compassion. The woman just looked very, very pale and confused.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" William shouted at her.

"Who the hell are you?" Dr Gaius Baltar demanded.

"You! You son of a bitch. You traitor." Jessica lunged for the dark haired man again but Lee pulled her back. The man went very pale and his brown eyes widened. "That's right. I know what you did you bastard."

"Jessica, what are you talking about?" Laura asked her. Jessica could see Laura's hands wrapped around the edge of her seat, the knuckles showing nearly white against her skin.

"Forgive me, Commander but shouldn't we be calling security?" Dr Baltar spoke quickly, nervously. "I mean the woman shot at me."

"Or at least Dr Salik. Then toss this lunatic's ass in the brig!" Colonel Tigh insisted, holding his arm.

"I wasn't aiming at you. It's not my fault you're reflexes are a little slow, I mean it's 10 'o'clock in the morning!" Jessica snapped in disgust at the inebriated colonel. "That one, you should have let me shoot him in the head!" Jessica shouted directing her comment at Dr Baltar."It's because of him the Cylons were able to nearly wipe out our race. Him and his frakking libido!"

"Are we actually gonna stand here and listen to this obviously raving mad woman?" Gaius asked, panic coming off of him in waves. Yes, he knew she was a seer and he was very, very, worried.

A painful shriek of metal filled Jessica's mind and she jumped backing up against Lee, startled.

"What was that?" She asked clenching her eyes.

"What?" Lee asked behind her.

Then she saw it. Lieutenant Thrace under one of the vipers, then the jack holding it up gives way crushing her beneath it.

"Oh no... Oh frak..." Jessica said trembling.

"I think you should sit down, Miss Talbot." Laura suggested, surely seeing the terror in Jessica's eyes.

"Where's Lieutenant Thrace?" Jessica asked fearfully.

"Never mind about Lieutenant Thrace." Lee snapped. Jessica struggled against him.

"We'll put her in the brig for now. Dr Baltar, I think you have some explaining to do." Commander Adama ordered.

"Lee, wait...Oh no. No!" Jessica pleaded as Lee began to drag her with him out the room. "Lee, please. Where is Kara? Something's wrong."

"Nice try but it's straight to the brig with you, got it?" Lee said shortly.

"Damn it Lee! Listen to me! Is she in the hanger?" Jessica pleaded, panicked digging the heels of her sneakers against the floor to slow them both down. She had to get to the lieutenant now!

"Starbuck is out on patrol-" Lee insisted. Jessica shook her head and tried to release his grip on her arms. Jessica dropped her legs out from beneath her.

"NO! Something's wrong. I know it. Lee, please. You have to believe me. She's in the hanger deck." Lee fought with her as she tried to break free.

"Dammit, stop that! I will throw you over my frakking shoulder if I have to!" Lee shouted spinning her around to face him. Jessica slammed her head against his and for a second, Jessica saw stars.

"Frakking shit!" Lee cried out in pain. He released her for a second and Jessica fell onto the floor. She made to bolt but Lee was quicker. Reaching down, Lee grabbed her again and Jessica cried out in frustration.

"Dammit, this isn't a trick, Lee! She's in danger!" Jessica insisted with no other alternative, Jessica sunk her teeth into Lee's wrist. With his cry of pain ringing in her ears, Jessica dropped to the floor again and this time she was able to break free and set off on a dead run.

She knew Lee was close behind her, but Jessica didn't dare slow herself down by looking back. Now if only she knew where she was going. Every corridor looked the same and she was certain she was going in circles. Her heart pounded in her ears when she didn't hear Lee behind her anymore Jessica stopped to concentrate.

"Please...oh please... Show me how to get there" Jessica pleaded feeling hot tears of helplessness roll down her cheeks. She tried to picture the direct route to the hanger deck and when she was fairly certain she could see the path in her mind she began to run again. Turning another corner, she slammed into Lee Adama once again.

"Son of a bitch!" Jessica burst in frustration. "Look Lee, I swear. You can toss me in the brig, you can throw me out of your frakking airlock afterwards but you have to listen to me now! You have to get to Kara now!" That seemed to get through to him, Jessica thought gratefully. "Nothing else matters right now but I think she's under one of the vipers and it's gonna give way. Please." Jessica begged grabbing his hand. Lee flinched and pulled it back. Jessica figured out why. The wrist was branded with her teeth marks and the skin was broken in a small bit. He flashed her look of pure accusation but then his blue eyes shifted to complacency.

"All right, come with me." Lee grabbed her hand with his other and dragged her along with him down the corridor. She wasn't sure what he'd done differently but in another minute or two they had made their way out of the corridors and were rushing into a wide room with vipers in various stages of repair. Engineers and pilots were scattered in various sections. Jessica scanned the room for Kara. A shock of blonde hair was visible beneath one of the vipers and Lee went very still beside her. Horror gave way to action and they made a run for her.

"KARA!" Lee and Jessica screamed at the same time. On her back, Kara Thrace jumped in startled shock and rolled out from beneath her viper.

"What the frak is wrong with you two?" Kara demanded, sitting up. Her face was a mess of frustrated sweat and grime. In the next second, the jack gave way and her viper fell to the floor with a sickening explosion of crushed metal.


	14. Chapter 14: I Know Something You Don't K...

Chapter Fourteen

She was having trouble breathing. Jessica's fear seeped out of her like beads of ice popping through her skin. If the cell had a carpet, she would have worn a hole through it by now. Pacing hadn't ease the burning panic in her chest so Jessica had stopped and sat on the floor, knees up to her chest and head buried against her forearms.

They certainly hadn't wasted any time tossing her in the brig. Once Kara was safely, if shaken, out of harm's way, Lee had locked Jessica in the cell and left her there. She wasn't sure of the time, but she guessed it was about 2 in the afternoon. Her stomach was lurching dangerously, a mix of hunger and fear. Jessica swallowed. She would NOT stink up this place with her own vomit. Jessica took deep breaths. This fear was painfully familiar. Being locked up, shut away. But this time she didn't have her parents there with her to comfort her when the terror got too overwhelming. She struggled to remember that these people were not the Cylons. But the sense memory in her body knew no different. The enclosed room with no windows, the hard cold floor. The chill in the air. It was all playing havoc with her hold on the present. But dammit what were they going to do with her?

Surely they had questions? That at least, she hoped would keep her alive. Jessica snorted bitterly. It all came down to that. Her saving grace was information. She had it. They would want it. Well, frak 'em. Her silence had kept her alive before, it would do so again.

Jessica whimpered and closed her eyes willing herself to remember her mother's hand, clasping hers as it had done back then. She curled her fingers around the hand that was no longer there, tightening her grip, willing the feel of her mother's skin against her. Jessica could call up her mother's scent. Soft, like lilies on a hazy summer back in Caprica. Jessica inhaled deep, feeling her panic begin to lull. Focusing on her mother, Jessica didn't notice him until he spoke.

"Since the cursed day I brought you on this ship you have nearly knocked me unconscious, thrown up on me, stabbed me, nearly broken my nose and bit me. Now you give me one good reason why the hell I shouldn't tell my father to execute you for shooting a senior officer."

Jessica stared at Lee's red nose. It had been bleeding but had recently dried up.

"I was aiming at Baltar." Jessica offered with a shrug.

"He says you're lying." Lee said sitting across from her on the other side of the bars.

"Of course he does. And your so frakking chicken shit scared that I'm right cause that would mean you've been trusting a traitor all these years." Jessica seethed at him.

"Let's just entertain for a moment that you are right. That's two bodies out the air lock instead of just one. Either way, you lose." Jessica really wished Lee would just stop talking. Her hold on her mother was getting further and further and she really did not want to lose it in front of him. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes willing the panic back but her breath was coming out uneven. Jessica watched as Lee began to notice.

"You alright?" Lee asked, his mouth lifting in a grin.

"Not a big fan of enclosed spaces. Two years in a Cylon prison will do that to you." She admitted. She felt his stab of sympathy for her and felt him just as easily force it down. "You won't kill me. And unfortunately for me, you won't kill Doc Genius either." Jessica said getting to her feet. She'd come to the damning realization that despite his betrayal, killing Baltar would have been a mistake. He still had his part to play and Jessica had to learn to reign in her emotions.

"Dare I ask why not?"

"Doc Genius is the only Cylon detector you've got besides me. You need him as much as you need me. Not to mention I know where Earth is." Jessica held on to the bars, tightly. Her heart rate going up so high she could hear it in her ears.

"Back there again,are we?" Lee asked rolling his eyes. "Honey, Earth is a myth. My father gave up his story a long time ago."

"Your father was mistaken. Earth is real. My mother came from Earth. She was pregnant with me at the time and THAT, Captain, is how I can do what I do. It's the time travel. It changed my blood somehow. I'm not a seer because of my mind. It's my genes."

"This would make fascinating fiction, really." Lee said laughing. So help her, if she hadn't been behind the bars Jessica would have lunged at him and choked the giggles right out of his throat.

"You son of a bitch. Salik told you I can't lie. Why would I be doing so now?"

"Yes, Salik, since anyone can be a Cylon these days-"

"Oh for frak sakes. Your doctor is not a Cylon and you know it."

"No I don't. And that is another card in my hand. You yourself could be a Cylon. I'm sure Baltar would be only to happy to back me up on that one seeing as you did try to shoot him. One word to my father-"

"You would do that?" Jessica asked, her face paling and her eyes filling. Lee sighed and leaned against the steel back of his chair.

"No. Of course I wouldn't." Lee admitted. "But you've got to give me something more to go on here than genes and time travel and your belief that Doc Geniu- I mean Doctor Baltar's responsible for the destruction of the human race."

"I swear to you, Lee. I can lead you to earth if you only give me a chance. I only have to remember. Elosha or Salik can help me do that but you have to set me free." By now Jessica could feel the tears drop down her cheeks but she was too terrified to care. If he didn't let her go she was gonna have a full fledged painc attack right in front of him. "I am yours." she said suddenly. Lee started in his chair. "Your mother's ring said 'In this life and the next'. It was half of a sentence. Your father's ring has the other half, 'I am yours.' It's engraved in the rings."

"Frakking shit." Lee said paling. Then he shook his head. "You could have seen them."

"For Gods sake, Lee, when?" Jessica asked desperately. She swallowed hard. She was visibly trembling. "Doc Genius was frakking a Cylon and slipping her defense secrets. That is how the Cylons were able to very nearly obliterate us. Although If we're going for details here he didn't technically know she was a Cylon. After a good frak the good doctor has worse diarrea of the mouth than I do." Jessica pushed her nails so hard into her palms she felt the sting of breaking skin.

"Okay, this is over. I'll pass what you said on to my dad and it'll be up to him what to do with you."

"Lee wait!" Jessica called out and as she watched him make his way to the door."Can't you please let me out of here?"

"You shot our XO. You have to face justice for that."

"You bastard!" Jessica spat "You want me." Now what on earth made her blurt that Jessica would never know! Lee stilled and turned around.

"What?" Lee asked. His blue eyes widened but Jessica knew she had struck a nerve.

"That's another reason you're not gonna kill me. You wanna frak me so bad I can feel it. As much as I freak you out, you want me. It irritates the frak out of you but your not gonna let me die before you get me on my back." Jessica said, narrowing her eyes at him. Lee was up to the bars in three long strides. Despite the fact the bars separated them, Jessica leapt back fearfully.

"You certainly think much of yourself don't you?" Lee sneered. "If you think you're gonna try and buy time by offering me your sexual favors. You've got the wrong man."

"Believe me, I frakking wish I did." Jessica tossed back.

"According to you that tactic would work best on Baltar." Lee reminded her.

"I should warn you though, Captain. The last man I let into my bed died." Jessica warned. Lee took a step back and regarded her warily. "Go ahead. I know your dying to ask me how." Jessica gripped the bars. Lee remained silent. "Alright, I'll tell ya. His name was James and I killed him." Jessica said getting great satisfaction from the blood draining from Lee Adama's face.


	15. Chapter 15: First Love

Chapter Fifteen

"What the hell was that?" Jessica cried out in frustration to the now empty room. She wasn't sure if it was the admission that she knew he wanted her, or the admission that she was a killer, but Lee Adama had pretty much left skid marks on his way out the door. She'd had no intention of ever speaking those words aloud but in that moment, it'd been desperation that made her blurt them. She knew she'd struck a nerve when she'd seen the confirmation in Lee's eyes. Yes, he wanted her. Thought about her in a way that stole the breath from her body and made her knees weak and what's worse, made her want him back. Badly. Her only thought was to stop it dead in it's tracks and so she'd confessed the worst thing she'd ever done. Whether it had worked, Jessica didn't know. Lee hadn't stayed in the room long enough for her to sense anything in him but shock. She'd pretty much guaranteed herself a one way trip out the air lock, though. No way they'd keep a murderess among their precious military. "Shit, shit,shit, Talbot! You and your big mouth. A simple, 'you're not my type' wouldn't do. Oh no, not for you. Frakking shit." Jessica groaned banging her head against the bars until it began to hurt and so she stopped that. On the other hand, musing over her own stupidity did her keep mind her off her panic?

When the door opened again, Jessica braced herself for Lee or the commander, coming to get her to have her executed. She was slightly relieved when Kara Thrace walked in, though who knew if they'd sent their lieutenant to do the job? Jessica did think it was rather morbid of them to send the woman she'd saved to kill her.

"I gotta say, this place looks real different from this side of the bars." Kara said with a wide smile. Jessica waited and simply watched her. "Well, you had an eventful morning. Though from what I hear, some target practice is in order." Jessica's mouth reluctantly turned up at the corner.

"Yeah well, it's a good thing I missed Doc Genius, seeing as he's your Cylon expert, which, I gotta say, is irony in its highest form."

"Oooh no, I meant you only winged Tigh. We're gonna have to work on that." Kara said with a wink. Jessica shook her head but was unable to fight a smile.

"So they sent you to do the dirty deed, huh?" Jessica asked with a shiver of dread.

"What do you mean?" Kara asked.

"Oh, you're not here to kill me?" Jessica realized.

"For shooting Tigh?" Kara asked cocking an eyebrow. "Heck, if could I'd pin a medal on ya. But nope, I actually come bearing gifts." Kara reached into her pocket and pulled out something wrapped in white paper that smelled almost like fish. Jessica's mouth watered hungrily.

"What is that?" Jessica asked as Kara slipped the package between the bars.

"Our version of a tuna sandwich. Don't ask what the tuna actually is. You're better off not knowing, trust me." At that point, Jessica didn't care. She tucked into the sandwich hungrily. It was actually some kind of flaky, creamy concoction between two wide crackers but Jessica wasn't going to be choosy.

"So, anyway I came to say thanks for saving my ass earlier. If I can, I'll try and put in a word with the old man but I'm not sure he's gonna listen to me, seeing as I couldn't stop smiling when he told me you shot Tigh." Kara shrugged. "Still, I owe you. Even though you're a freak of nature, you could be interesting to have around in a Pyramid game and it'd be a shame to toss you out into the ether."

"Thank you." Jessica said accepting what she felt was as close to a compliment Kara Thrace was gonna offer.

"I only popped in to give you the sandwich so I better get ready for my shift." Kara turned to leave and Jessica called out.

"Wait, Kara. I...is there anything you could do about getting me out of this cell? I really feel like I'm gonna lose my mind in here." Jessica said. "Having you here was actually making me feel a little better but if you've gotta go-"

"Claustrophobic?" Kara asked sympathetically. "The old man will be in here in a few so you could ask him."

"I feel like I'm gonna jump out of my skin." Jessica admitted trembling.

"I can stay until he gets here." Kara offered turning back towards her.

"I'd appreciate it. Also..., well, Elosha gave me a book, a bible. I left it in my room. Could you possibly get it for me later? Something to take my mind off stuff. It's the only way I can stop my mind going every which way. Focus." Jessica explained. Kara nodded.

"So while I'm here, do tell me what you said to Lee to get him to nearly run me down out there?" Kara asked. Jessica grimaced." You saw him?"

"He was practically a blur but yeah. Let me guess, you told him someone snuck into his room and messed up his color co-coordinated socks."

"Not quite." Jessica said biting her lip. "I told him I killed someone." Kara started in the chair.

"Tigh's dead?" She asked in shock.

"No, not Tigh. An old boyfriend."

"Lords, woman. Wouldn't a 'Dear John' letter have sufficed?" Kara asked wide-eyed.

"He deserved to die." Jessica seethed. She turned and sat on the bed. She couldn't really see Kara any longer. Jessica was back in the Cylon lab, staring down at James' unconscious body.

"We went into hiding when the Cylons took over. Some people had built underground bunkers in preparation for those end of the world prophecies you'd always read about...And laugh at." Jessica said with a bitter laugh. "I'd been dating James for roughly a year...I thought... It's funny but I can't even remember loving him anymore. I think of him and I feel just rage...Imagine his hands on me and I just feel sick." She said swallowing. "We were under for about a month before the Cylons found us."

"James?" Kara asked. Jessica nodded and continued.

"The Cylons had us on their compound for two weeks when my dad came up with a plan of escape. We worked together for weeks and about two months in; we were ready to make a break for it."

"Frak me." Kara said softly, sensing what was coming.

"James had sold us out so that he could get special privileges with the Cylons. Work with them. Since he was convinced the Cylon's would win the war, he decided to make nice. For information, they would let him walk free among the compound, have more food. We didn't even make it past the barbed wire before the Cylons shot my father dead and dragged my mother and I back. James knew that I knew what he'd done. He wouldn't face me. He asked to work with the other prisoners. As proof that the Gods have a sense of humor, James got into a fight with another prisoner. Marty, a nice man who had a crush on my mother. Marty stabbed James with the back of a spoon. He punctured James' lung. The doctor had James on a respirator. I managed to sneak into the infirmary when the Cylons had begun examining my head..."

Kara watched Jessica as she went on with her story and got the impression that she was no longer in the room with Kara but back with the Cylons staring down at James.

"He opened his eyes when I walked in and I could feel his panic. He couldn't move because of all the tubes and wires and he knew very well why I was there. I saw him lying there and I couldn't believe how small he looked. How weak and helpless. Almost childlike." Jessica whispered, her green eyes wide. I didn't say a word to him but I couldn't look away from him. I wanted to see him, see the life drain out of his eyes. He watched me lean over to the respirator plug. His eyes were pleading with me and he was making these horrible gurgling sounds. I never felt that removed, outside of myself. There was no little voice telling me not to do it. I wasn't blinded by rage or hatred. I felt those things but everything around me was so sharp, so clear. I pulled the plug off the respirator and just stood there waiting for his oxygen to run out. It didn't take long. I watched him struggling against the lack of air, pleading and cursing at me with his eyes and then he went still. I and just stood there. Watching. I expected to feel vindicated or triumphant but I felt nothing." Jessica visibly jolted on the mattress as if surprised to find herself back in the brig.

"Frak me." Kara whispered eyeing her. Jessica was glad not to feel disgust from Kara. No, in fact, Jessica felt and saw admiration in Kara's eyes. And respect.

"Anyway, you're the only one that knows this." Jessica admitted quietly, trembling from the memories.

"I thought you told, Lee." Kara reminded her. Jessica shook her head.

"He didn't stick around long enough for explanations."

"That's Lee." Kara said rolling her eyes. "You should tell him." Kara stood up when she heard the door open and Commander Adama walked in.

"Lieutenant."

"Sir." Kara replied with a salute. "Permission to speak off the record, Sir." William nodded. "I suggest that Ms Talbot be allowed out of her cell. She's claustrophobic and can still be kept under watch with a guard outside her room."

"I will take that under advisement, Lieutenant. Dismissed." Kara turned and winked and Jessica who smiled back in thanks.


	16. Chapter 16:The Cylons Are Coming! The Cy...

Chapter 16

William Adama took the now empty seat across from the bars separating him from Jessica.

"You're not making this very easy for me." He said.

"So my job is gonna be to weed out Cylons, not traitors. Understood." Jessica said gritting her teeth and beginning to pace the small cell.

"You're job wasn't to shoot anyone." The commander pointed out.

"I was doing you a favor. Gaius Baltar frakked this whole fleet. Because of him, the Cylons were able to very nearly wipe us all off the planet. You're not the least bit ticked about that?" Jessica asked, incredulous

"If we were back home, Gaius Baltar would be tried and executed for his crime. Now, we have a very serious problem." William said taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes in fatigue. "We need him. As much as we need you. So as much as I would love to see Gaius Baltar pay for what he's done. The needs of the fleet need to take precedence. We need to weed out the Cylons. We cannot do that without him. I could lock him up in his lab for the next 60 years it'll take him to test all the blood samples. The idea holds an incredible appeal. Your punishment, since we can't keep you in this cell-" at that Jessica stopped pacing and turned to him hopefully. "Is that you'll have to work along side him."

"Eh?" Jessica asked with a grimace.

"That way, you both serve out your sentences doing something constructive and we don't lose our advantage over the Cylons."

"Frakking hell. Commander." Jessica groaned. She tried to think on the positive side. She'd be alive. "I'm not sure I can promise not to shoot him again." He fought a smile. Hard.

"You'll split your time between working for me and working for Doctor Baltar. You'll go no where without a guard. When I've decided you've served enough time, you'll be allowed to come and go as you please. Not before. Is that understood?" Commander Adama asked. Jessica nodded miserably.

"When can I get out of here? I feel like I'm running out of air." Jessica pressed closing her eyes and trying to take a deep breath but her lungs felt stifled.

Jessica and the commander were both jarred at the sound of loud alarm bells that shot Jessica's nerves through the roof with a scream. Commander Adama leapt up out of the chair.

"What's that noise?" Jessica asked covering her ears. Then someone came over the P.A system calling for Commander Adama and telling everybody to get to their stations. Cylons had been spotted. Jessica's eyes widened in horror. _Shit._

"Wait, Commander!" Jessica pleaded as he rushed out the room. "Can I get out of here?" She asked hopelessly to the now empty room."Frak." Jessica dropped her head against the bars, her fear settling over her again with an icy chill.

It didn't help matters that in addition to her fear of being trapped in the cell, there were now Cylons floating around somewhere right above them. She tried to concentrate on something else..._Anything _else! But to no avail.

"Frakking hell!" Jessica kicked at the bars. "Excuse me out there! Anybody?" She hoped that at least the guards on the other side of the door would take pity on her and let her out. "Right, Talbot and the Cylons are just passing by to see how I'm doing." Jessica told herself sarcastically. "Hey out there! The commander said that I was allowed out of here!" Jessica cried out but there was not way she'd be heard over that infernal alarm system. "Well this is just lovely." Jessica said throwing her hands up in the air. It was about a half an hour later when she felt the air in the room begin to thin considerably and a heavy pressure settle over her. As if she were descending an elevator. But worse. Oh frak...So much worse. Jessica leaned against the bunk to ease her disorientation. "What the hell is happening?" Jessica asked. Her head felt as if it was going to explode in her skull and then her stomach lurched. Out came Kara's tuna sandwich. Mouth full of acid, Jessica lay herself flat on the bunk and waited for the pressure inside of her to ease. Gradually Jessica was able to unclench her eyes and her breathing returned to normal. Good lords, what the hell was that? It was over an hour before anybody showed up down in the brig again. The strange pressure had returned a second time and Jessica was hoping for it wouldn't return as she was worried about running out of places in the cell to throw up.

She gave Dr Salik a weak but grateful smile. "I got a little sick." She explained unnecessarily. "I think something's wrong. I've thrown up twice so far."

"It's the jumps. Some systems can't take it. I'll give you something to settle your stomach." The doctor replied. To her credit, Dr Salik ignored the sharp smell of vomit and passed her a glass of water and two small tablets. The guard had followed the doctor in and was now unlocking her cell. Jessica could have kissed the dour faced young man.

"The commander asked me to come down and see how you were doing and he told me to let you out. He wants you up with him in CIC where he can keep an eye on you."

"Whatever he wants is perfectly all right with me." Jessica said, her mood and stomach eased considerably. "What's CIC? And who's jumping in the ship and are the Cylon's gone now?" Jessica's questions followed Dr Salik down the hall.

The Cylon's were not gone; Jessica learned as they popped up repeatedly like clockwork every 33 minutes.

Jumping was the Galactica's most effective method form of escaping and involved pushing the entire fleet of ships at a faster than light speed where they would drop 'jump' out of sight and then re-appear at a designated spot. The speed of movement was what caused the severe compression of air and Jessica was glad to know she was not the only one affected by it. But thanks to Dr Salik's medication, she no longer had to worry about making a mess all over the CIC which she learned stood for Command Information Center. The command center for the Galactica.

Commander Adama assigned Jessica to the communications console to work with a young dark skinned woman with a bright friendly smile named Dualla. She watched Dualla's manner as the efficient young woman was tuned in to all the viper pilots currently on duty trying to fight off the Cylons. Small screens next to the radio's allowed for wide surveillance of the Galactica and it's surrounding area. Dualla relayed Commander's orders to the pilot's and sent back info from the pilots to the Galactica.

Hour after hour, the Cylon's came. Every half-hour When the first twenty-four hours past with no relief, Jessica began to worry that the reason the Cylon's hadn't blasted the Galactica to pieces was because she was on board. Then the panic began to settle in deep in her stomach. Waiting for one of them to mention it. One of them to suggest that it would be best to sacrifice her for the sake of the ship. Commander Adama locked eyes with her at one point and Jessica held her breath. But he simply passed over her to give Dualla another order. And Jessica nearly wept with relief. Then the guilt started at about hour 30 when the pilot casualties began to rise. And the worry. Both Captain Apollo and Lieutenant Starbuck were out battling the Cylons in their vipers and Jessica found herself a seething jangle of nerves until they both returned from one of their repeated four hour shifts. Her eyes would scan them through the screens for any physical damage and she was sure Dualla could hear her exhalations of relief when both and Kara and Lee checked out all right. Exhausted, shaken but otherwise all right.

On hour 48, Jessica's body was screaming for sleep but she quickly learned it was not even worth the bother. She'd rest her head on her arms at the console and as soon as she began to doze off that screaming alarm would go off and she was left worse off than if she hadn't tried to rest at all.

At hour 60, Commander Adama offered to let her lie in her room under guard but Jessica assured him she was better off staying where she was.

At hour 72 with no relief from the Cylons in sight, her body ignored her will and began snatching five, ten minute spurts of unconsciousness.

At hour 96, the stimulants were handed out. Commander Adama assigned Jessica to work the console alone for a short while when Dualla mistakenly called out all the ships that had returned for the turn around when it was discovered one of the ships she named hadn't actually returned. The Olympic Carrier. With over one thousand civilians on board. Gone. Through Jessica's sleep deprived brain she registered a small measure of sadness but her body was selfish in it's demands. It wanted sleep. Now. The commander was reluctant to give her stimulants since he wasn't sure how the drugs would affect her brain but Dr Salik assured him that the pills would do her no harm. So thankfully Jessica was now alert if slightly chatty as she manned the radio. When five more pilots were killed, Captain Apollo, having been pushed farther than Jessica feared he could physically stand finally lost the precarious grip he had on his self-control. He stormed into CIC and gave voice to what both Jessica, the commander and Colonel Tigh were all thinking.

"Well this frakking proves it doesn't it? She's a damn Cylon! That's how they keep finding us!" Lee exploded.


	17. Chapter 17: Indecent Proposal

Chapter 17

In any other circumstances, Jessica would have taken into account that the man was hopped up on caffeine pills, fear and grief over losing an ever increasing number of pilots. Now, however, she was herself hopped up on caffeine pills, fear and guilt over the same ever increasing number of dead pilots. Jessica's tolerance level emptied with surge of dropping nerves, replaced by anger. She threw the headset at Lee Adama's head. It shot smack against the side of his head and his blue eyes blazed furiously at her. He stormed towards her but Tigh held him back

"That's it!" Jessica cried hoping up onto the communications counter. "I would like to state here and now for the last mother frakking time! I am not a frakking Cylon!" Jessica screamed stamping her feet. "If you're gonna hand me over to the Cylons please, just put me out of my misery already and do it now cause this wondering if you're gonna, is frakking kill me" Jessica turned to Commander Adama. "And YOU!" She turned back to Lee, nearly losing her footing and falling off the counter but she regained her balance. "I am so sick of you with your suspicious looks and your accusations. And your 'oh, she's a bad girl but I still want frak her', bullshit; and it is not my fault that you have a pickle shoved so far up your ass and cannot open your narrow little mind this much," Jessica separated her thumb and forefinger less than an inch apart, "to see that I am not the enemy here. And just so you know, I don't want to marry you and I don't want to have any of your babies either, so there!" Jessica spat.

Somewhere outside of herself was the dawning realization that the CIC had gone deathly quiet, and every one was staring up at her because she was standing on the counter. And that Lee Adama's face was a red mask of mortification. She was certain that she herself was beginning to match the shade of his skin with growing horror. Kara Thrace broke the silence by bursting into side splitting loud laughter. Jessica closed her eyes wishing that when she opened them again, that everything she said had been a terrible figment of her imagination. No such luck. Jessica turned and climbed back on to the floor willing the floor to open up and swallow her.

"Captain, you proposed?" Kara asked, holding her helmet as she gasped for breath through her laughter. That seemed to jolt Lee from his frozen state.

"Shut up, Lieutenant." Lee snapped. Kara stifled her laughter but was still fighting against bursts of giggles. He stiffened, going into full military mode and turned to his father who had his mouth open. "Commander, we lost Thunder, Mouse, and Athena." Commander Adama stared at his son as if he'd grown a second head. He grabbed onto the normalcy of protocol and nodded. "We hit the Cylons hard but they seem to show up all around us, every time. As if where ever they're jumping from, they're told our exact position." The last statement was directed as a dig at Jessica but Lee didn't dare turn to face her which Jessica figured was just as well as she would have rather taken a shot to the head then meet his eyes. She dropped her head onto her arms and tried to trade in her power as a seer for the power of invisibility.

"All right, Captain. Dis...uh...dismissed." Commander Adama stammered.

"It's been 45 minutes, Commander." Lieutenant Gaeta announced. Jessica lifted her head and was ecstatically grateful when all attention turned to the young dark haired officer.

"Forty five?" Tigh asked hopefully.

"Yes, Sir." Gaeta replied. All eyes turned to the commander who was staring up at the big digital clock.

"What now?" Colonel Tigh asked when forty-five turned to forty-six.

"We wait." Commander Adama announced.

When the hour changed, Commander Adama announced that a new rotation was to be started and the now off duty pilots should try and get as much sleep as they could. Except for those on stimulants as they would be unable to wind down until the pills wore off. Commander Adama sent Lee and Kara back on patrol.

"So can I come to the wedding?" Kara asked as Lee followed her out of the CIC. Lee shoved her, hard. "Ow!" And then Jessica heard only fading footsteps.

William walked up to the communication console and cleared his throat.

"We'll discuss what happened here later. For now. Can you continue?"

Jessica nodded."Yes, Sir." She wasn't being let off the hook but it was a reprieve and she was grateful for it.

As she focused her attention on the small screens in front of her, Jessica tried to ignore the curious murmurs around her. She was going to get Salik to sew her lips shut. Be better for everyone, she reasoned. Lords, what the hell was she thinking, losing it like that? Jessica shook her head in self disgust. She wouldn't be surprised if the commander decided to toss her sorry behind out the airlock just to keep her big mouth shut. Though she got more than a few questioning glances, most of the staff stayed away from her. She took in a transmission from Colonial One. The president had been checking in at various points during the past few days and Jessica was glad to here Laura Rosilin's friendly voice.

"How are you holding up?" Laura asked.

"Ah besides the fact that I just humiliated myself in front of the whole Galactica crew, I'm good." Jessica replied miserably.

"Dare I ask what happened?"

"Lee Adama accused me of being a Cylon. I accused him of wanting to frak me." The words were out of her mouth before Jessica could even try and hold them back. Confused silence on the other end.

"I...I see. Well, I never heard of a proposition being used as an insult but then again I haven't been propositioned myself in a while." Laura said.

It was just what Jessica needed. She let out a small burst of laughter and then let President Rosilin talk to the commander. It was an hour and half later when she spotted it. At first, Jessica was certain she was hallucinating but after rubbing her eyes and assuring herself that she was, indeed awake and alert, she was unable to deny what was showing up on one of the screens before her.

"Uh, Captain Apollo...are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Jessica asked. It seemed less daunting or personal to refer to him by his call sign. As if Captain Apollo was not the same Lee Adama she had chewed out only moments before.

"It looks like the Carrier." Lee replied, his own voice betraying it's earlier stiffness with growing confusion.

"I thought we lost them." Kara asked. Jessica was feeling a strange sort of dread in the pit of her stomach but she wasn't sure why.

"So did I. Commander?" Jessica called Commander Adama back to the counter. Colonel Tigh followed him. At that moment she began getting transmissions from the Olympic Carrier, requesting permission to board. Something on Jessica's face must have given Commander Adama pause cause he told the Olympic Carrier to stand by.

"What is it?" He asked her quietly.

"I...I'm not sure." Jessica said, the dread increasing. Something was very, very off.

"Shit!" Lee's voice came through the speakers. "Cylons are back. Frak!" Jessica met the commander's eyes.

"You don't think it's a coincidence." William asked her.

"What? You think it's the Carrier?" Colonel Tigh asked.

"Do you think the Cylons are following them somehow?" Jessica asked nervously. No. That wasn't what he was thinking. And it wasn't what she was thinking either. The request from the Olympic Carrier came through again.

"Tell them to keep their distance. I need you to do something for me." William asked. Jessica began shaking her head. "Ms Talbot, I need you to patch me through to President Rosilin again and then I need you to tell me if there are any Cylons aboard that ship."

"Commander, I can't...please don't ask me-" Jessica pleaded keeping her voice low so that the rest of the staff would be unaware of the commander's request.

"Now, Ms Talbot." William ordered firmly. She thought she was gonna be sick again as she called President Rosilin again.

"How many people are on that ship?" Laura asked.

"Thirteen hundred souls." Commander Adama replied. Jessica felt like her knees were gonna buckle beneath her and she fought back tears. She couldn't do it. She _wouldn't_ do it. And everyone on board the Galactica would die. Jessica reasoned with a whimper. Well, the shoe was on the other foot now, Jessica thought bitterly. She'd condemned the Galactica for sacrificing thousands to save themselves and now she was being asked to do the same.

"Ms Talbot. Are there Cylons aboard the Olympic Carrier?" Commander Adama asked her.

Jessica felt like she was gonna be sick.

"There are people on that ship!" She whispered vehemently through burning tears. She could see the civilians there, being held on the Olympic Carrier. Men, women, children. Even a few infants.

"Are there Cylons, Ms Talbot?" Commander Adama asked. He was so calm, so firm and immovable that Jessica wanted to deck him. Jessica pictured the inside of the ship in her mind. The civilians were all pushed below decks so they wouldn't be visible looking inside and their pilots were dead. In their place, Cylons. 


	18. Chapter 18: Through No Fault Of Their Ow...

Chapter 18

"There are Cylons inside." Jessica whispered shaking. She gripped the edge of the counter and lowered her head, tears blurring her eyes. Commander Adama sighed and stepped back. He extended his hand for Jessica to give him the headset. Laura Rosilin hesitated but in the end, gave the order which William Adama relayed to Apollo. Jessica clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle her scream of anguish. The mood in the room dropped as everyone waited for Apollo to respond that the order had been carried out. 1300 hundred people. Sentenced to death because they had the misfortune to have been boarded by Cylons. Jessica sat and rested her head on the heel of her palm as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Poetic justice, she supposed. How she had railed and cursed these men for choosing their own survival over the survival of thousands. Now she had done the same and Jessica finally understood. What she had gone through had been horrific, no doubt but this...oh God. This guilt that filled her and threatened to run over and tear through her. This was somehow worse.

Jessica could hear Kara arguing with Lee. What if they were wrong? Those were innocent people in there. She wasn't going to do it.

"Lieutenant Starbuck, the Carrier has Cylons on board." Jessica explained sniffling.

"Frak me. Talbot, you'd better be right." Kara replied shakily.

"I am." Jessica said wiping her cheeks. "Lee..." What could she say to him? What could she possibly say that would make this better for him somehow. But she wanted to. Gods help her, she couldn't bear the burden of his guilt along with hers.

"If we're gonna do this, let's just do it." Lee snapped resolutely and Jessica closed her eyes, feeling the exact moment he opened fire on the Olympic Carrier. Every shot blasting through Lee himself in guilty driving thrusts. Kara reluctantly followed suit until the Carrier was nothing but a massive fireball then dissapated as if it'd never been there at all. Jessica had to get out of there. When Lee's voice came through, monotone and filled with restrained self hatred with the words mission accomplished, Jessica tore the headset off and ran. Guards blocked her way and with an anguished cry she pushed at them.

"Let me by!"

"It's alright." Commander Adama said softly behind her. With a wave at the guards he motioned for them to let Jessica through the doors. He'd track her down later, for now, he'd give her a moment to herself to recover from that which there was no recovery.

Jessica ran until she reached the first door she came to. She burst into the room, not caring where she was and closed the door behind her, sagging in great hiccuping sobs onto the floor.

"I'm sorry, Momma. I'm so sorry!" she wailed banging the back of her head against the door. She was no better. No better at all than these people who had left them behind. And yet Jessica knew she'd make the same decision again. She'd have to. Sacrifice people like her mother, innocent of any wrong doing to save herself and others. Jessica drew her knees up and buried her head in her arms as she welcomed the torture of guilt washing over her in smothering waves. If this was to be her penance for what she had done. So be it.

Lee Adama had thrown up in his viper. The chief engineer, Tyrol, didn't comment as Lee did the post flight check up and handed the clip board back to him. Starbuck called after him but Lee ignored her. He saw nothing as he stormed through the hall, moving on automation to lose himself in some nameless duty. Anything. Anything but give into the sickening twist of emotion in his gut. He would not, WOULD NOT give in to it. He pushed it down and sealed it and refused to look at it. He was a fighter pilot. He was the CAG. He'd done his job. Case closed. _Killer..._ The voice teased like a the soft whsiper of a lover, breathing soft in his ear. Lee shook his head to clear his mind of everything. _Murderer..._ The voice taunted again in a thick passionate sing song voice. Lee entered the pilot's ready room, where he'd spent many hours giving orders to the pilots under his command. He slammed the door shut and leaned against the heavy door, panting. _Breathe...breathe..._ His mind instructed but Lee held his breath for as long as he could, punishing himself with lack of oxygen. Don't think. Don't think. He turned and made his way to the flight schedule up on the white board. He grabbed the clip board off the podium and clenched the black marker in his hand, in danger of breaking the plastic with the force of his grip. Who's next? He asked staring down at the names on the rotation schedule but all he saw were flames. Fire shooting out of his plane to blanket the Olympic Carrier and obliterate all inside. He blinked the sweat from his eyes, welcoming the sting of salty moisture. More, yes. He deserved more pain. He gave a shout of deep rage and threw the clipboard across the rows of seats lining the room. Then he drove his fist into the white board. Again. Again. Again. Till the board was splintered and his injured hand was screaming with agony and bleeding once again with fresh blood.

Then he heard her. A low whimper and sniffle that penetrated Lee's haze of self disgust. He followed the sound to the other entrance and there she was. Huddled against the door and staring up at him as he approached. Her green eyes met his and Lee saw the pain and horror reflected there in her tear filled gaze and damp reddened cheeks. Her black hair was damp against her neck and he wanted to grab her and shove her beautiful head against the wall.

"Get up." He said. Jessica was trembling as she made her way to her feet. Too slow for his liking. Lee grabbed her arms and pulled her to her feet, slamming her up against the door. "This is all your fault,you frakking bitch." He said soft and low. He was rewarded with wide guilty eyes and his own hatred at his words. But she didn't fight him. Didn't argue and scream at him that it was he who pulled the trigger, he who killed over a thousand people. She just kept looking at him. Holding his gaze with those all knowing eyes. No, she didn't have to accuse him. They both knew he was at fault. Then she was shaking her head.

"No, Lee..." She whimpered trying to raise her hand to his face but his steel grip on her arms prevented that. There'd be bruises there tomorrow, Lee thought distantly. The idea aroused him. The deepest, sickest part of him that wanted to pull her sweat pants down and spread her legs and shove himself inside of her,hard and fast. Then she licked her lips and Lee swelled harder. He pushed her angrily, her head smacking against the door but he didn't aknowledge her pain. Simply pressed himself against her so she'd feel every furious, desperate part of him. But still, she didn't object. Her fingers brushed against his forearms, the only part of him she could reach. Then she was trembling and looked about to crumple and cry.

"Lee..." She whimpered, her voice thick with returning tears.

"Shut up, Jess. Just shut the frak up." Then his mouth crushed against hers.

A.N: We're winding down on Alive here ya'll but never fear. Jessica and Lee's story will continue on in the next book, as yet untitled. There's one or two more chapters after this one and then I start the next book which is as of yet, untitled. Hopefully you'll continue to follow their journey.

Sweet A.K: Thanks for your feedback! It's always appreciated! Kara's as happy as you are that Jess shot Tigh.(laughs) And yes, poor stupid Lee. We love him but he can be a real snarky little twit can't he? He just needs to get out of his own way really.But yeah, if you look at it from his end, Lee's got a right to be pissy.

And yeah, Commander Adama does have a soft spot for Kara and will develop one for Jessica, much to our Captain Apollo's chargin. (laughs)

Maye:Thanks for the tip, I had no idea I had the anonymous thingamadoogie checked. It's clear now so more people have been able to feedback. I owe ya. Thanks for your feedback.

Marlin: Thanks for the great compliment! I try to make Jessica as real a character as I can and not to toot my own horn but I've even had people tell me they wish she was an actual part of the show which gives me a wonderful feeling. The flash could more accurately be called 'flash-forwards' (laughs) if there is such a term as they are stuff that still has to happen. And chapter 17 certainly was intense wasn't it?

Alle: Thanks for your feedback. Lee will be pretty definitely a major character but it's always good to leave the readers wanting more. To work at having the characters have other things going on so that when they are in the same room, it's all the more electric. Hope it works! The whole thing with Baltar is gonna be interesting because while Jessica can forgive the Galactica crew for saving themselves it's gonna be really iffy with Baltar who was essentially an unwitting traitor. Needless to say Jessica won't be allowed to handle any sharp instruments for a while when she's working with Baltar. And she's gonna definitely know something is up with crazy Doc Genuis but it's gonna puzzle her. It depends on if you subscribe to the whole notion of Six being a chip in his head. Which I'm not sure I do so I'm gonna play it a bit different.


	19. Chapter 19: Falling Into You

Chapter 19

She whimpered into his mouth and dug her fingers into his forearms, whether to stop him or encourage him, Lee didn't know and didn't care. All he knew was that there was a balm here. Here in her mouth, pressing against her body, Lee's pain eased. He let go of her arms and Jessica nearly sagged onto the floor but Lee gripped the sides of her face and held her still as he thrust his tongue into her mouth, drinking. Drinking forgiveness, relief. Jessica was pressing back against him, her tears wet against his face, her hips snug against him. Lee couldn't breathe and didn't care. Here was salvation and here he would stay. Jessica reached her fingers up into his dark hair and met his tongue with her own. Pain, anger, rage all fell away as his mouth claimed hers deep and warm. She was making deep moaning sounds in the back of her throat that made his blood race downward and settle deep and thick between his legs. When she was shifting her hips against his arousal warning bells went off in his head that he had to stop before he went too far.

Her fingers were stroking down into the collar of his flight suit dancing against the warm skin and Lee gave a low whimper of reluctance that Jessica echoed when he began to pull away. When he finally broke the kiss Jessica shook her head.

"Again." She whispered wet against his mouth as she pulled him back to her. Lee allowed her to claim his mouth again in a last dizzying kiss before regaining his senses and pulling back again. "No..." She moaned trying to kiss him again but Lee shifted his mouth away from hers so she settled for running her mouth against the thick column of his neck.

'Oh Gods...Jess...Jess..." Lee sighed at the heat of her mouth. He gave a low grunt and cleared his throat. Then he firmly pulled away from her. "Stop...I'm sorry..I shouldn't have...I'm sorry." Lee insisted shaking his head stepping away from her.

"I'm not. I wanted you to do that. I want you to do it again," Jessica reached for his arms but Lee stepped out of her grasp. Slowly Jessica seemed to understand his regret and her cheeks colored.

"We...shit...I'm sorry."

"You can stop apologizing." Jessica insisted. He looked into her eyes but saw no anger there. Just understanding.

"If I hurt you-"

"You didn't. Much" Jessica admitted to him, her hand raising to the back of her head. Jessica wrapped her arms around herself to stop her trembling and give herself a moment to catch her breath. "You needed to get it out. I understand."

"But it wasn't fair to-"

"Lee. Shut up. I'm as much to blame as you are. About everything." Jessica explained.

"It was them or us." Lee rationalized trying to convince them both.

"That doesn't make it any easier." Jessica countered, her eyes filling with tears once again.

"No. It doesn't." He agreed. Jessica looked away, blinking back tears.

"Lee...could you...I just need..."Lee wrapped his arms around her before she asked and held Jessica while she cried. His mind still churned with guilt but his rage was easing, not to mention his blood was slowing its race through his veins. Lee sighed against her. Frak. What was this? What was this thing about her that penetrated his carefully constructed wall and probed at the vulnerability there. Made him want to let her in. Shit. Lee pulled back when her crying lessened. Nervously he disengaged from her and gave them a good foot of space. He avoided her gaze and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry I took advantage of you. I hope you'll accept my apology. " He repeated. "This was the worst kind of mistake and I assure you it won't happen again. I apologize also for thinking you were a Cylon. The stims frakked my judgment as you can tell." He concluded with a nod as he stiffened his spine. When Lee risked a glance at her she looked as if she wanted to deck him.

"You're an idiot, Captain Apollo. But fine. I can't lie to you and say I regret kissing you. I don't. But if you do I can only, well. I can't do anything about it can I? Just do us both a favor huh? Next time, keep your mouth and your hands to yourself." Jessica seethed; her face red with what Lee first thought was anger but now figured was embarrassment. Damn. He hadn't meant to humiliate her.

When Jessica turned to leave they both froze. His father stood in the doorway with an expression of irritation.

"Back to your room, Ms Talbot. There will be a guard posted there." Lee turned away, sure that his own face had turned crimson as well. How much had his father heard? Or Gods forbid, seen? He felt Jessica's eyes on him one last time before she followed the guard out of the room.

"Looks like you busted your hand again." William said simply.

"I'll have Salik patch it up." Lee said dismissively as he turned to leave but his father caught his arm.

"Good. Now this was my responsibility gave the order. Do you understand?"

"I pulled the trigger. That's mine." Lee countered refusing to meet his father's eyes.

"About what happened before I came in-"

"Nothing happened, Commander." Lee snapped meeting the older man's gaze firmly.

"Good. See that it stays that way, Captain Apollo." William ordered. "Ms Talbot needs to have her mind focused on weeding out Cylons. Not on someone who will only scratch his itch and move on." Lee's eyes flashed angrily.

"Excuse me?" How dare the man think he could comment on Lee's love life or lack of one for that matter? Lee gave a bitter snort. If anything, it was true to form. Commander William Adama wasn't happy unless he was passing judgment on every single aspect of his eldest son's life. Lee had the most absurd urge to grab Jessica back and frak her right under his father's nose just to prove William Adama had no right to think he could say a word about how Lee ran his life.

"You'll never let her in. You don't let anyone in."

"Takes one to know one, doesn't it?" Lee snapped and felt a sick satisfaction knowing the shot hit home. Oh yes. He may have been only a child when his parents split but Lee had not been oblivious to the tears his mother had cried through out the marriage. He remembered them well cause it was he who comforted her. He and Zak who kept her company while Daddy had been too busy flying his planes. He vowed he'd never. Ever, do that to a woman so Lee kept himself free of any emotional attachment. He'd never allow himself to be the cause for the anguish echoed in another woman's face that he'd seen so often on his mother's. Commander Adama stiffened and Lee saw his fist clench at his side. He smiled in goading.

"Get that hand taken care of. You're off duty for the next 6 hours barring anymore Cylon sightings. Dismissed Captain." Commander Adama said. Safe behind the barrier of protocol, Lee saluted and left the room.

A.N:

Just one more to go after this one!

Mae: I'm giddy that you're enjoying this story and hope you'll follow Lee and Jessica into the next books! Lee feels the same way you do! (laughs)

Sweet A.K: Thank you so much for always giving me such sweet feedback. Your comments make me all warm and giddy! And thanks for your comment on the sexual tension. I try! (laughs) I can promise that when these two finally do get to it it'll be pretty amazing. The John Cougar Mellencamp song "Hurts So Good" comes to mind. (winks) And yeah, poor Crumpet does need to get some BAD! (laughs) This chapter will only whet the appetite though. (smiles)


	20. Chapter 20: The Sense God Gave A Goat

Chapter 20

He'd been right of course, Jessica mused. The kiss had been a big mistake. Huge. But Gods how she hadn't wanted it to end. The taste of his mouth had been like a drug shooting through her veins. Stronger. And she'd felt his hunger. Felt the pulsing beats of his heart settling and thrumming between his legs until she was rubbing up against him like a cat in heat. It had never felt like that. Ever. Not even with James. While she had enjoyed kissing James, she'd never been able to feel what it did to him. She felt every one of Lee Adama's nerve endings melding with her own when their mouths met and felt every jump and push in his senses with every sweep of her tongue along his. It had almost been too much to bear. Feeling what he'd felt along with her own spinning senses, but Gods she'd wanted more. So did he, Jessica knew. He'd have taken her right there if it hadn't been for the fear claiming him. The man was afraid of her. Afraid of the claim she seemed to have on his control.

"Well honey, the feeling is very mutual." Jessica insisted breathlessly to the empty room. She poured herself a glass of water to try and wash the memory of Lee Adama from her mouth but instead decided the water would be put to better use to cool her burning skin. Jessica pulled on the collar of her sweatshirt and dumped the cool water down her chest. "Gods." She sighed as her heart rate slowed, thankfully. She leaned against her bed and let the water do its work. A knock on the door startled her and for one annoying second Jessica was wishing it was Lee, coming to finish what he'd started. She was torn between disappointment and gratitude when the guard let William Adama in.

"Nice to know I'll be allowed visitors." Jessica said when the guard closed the door behind the commander. He knew. Jessica sensed. He hadn't seen them but he'd heard her last comment to Lee and knew he had kissed her. "Lovely, you're here to lecture me. Relax, Commander. I have no intention of making nice with your son again. The man has the sensitivity of a goat."

"I'm glad to hear that. Your focus needs to be on finding the Cylons in the fleet." He reminded her as he leaned against the wall and stared down at her as she sat on the bed.

"And it will be."

"Though I would like some explanation for that outburst in the CIC." He said. Jessica grimaced.

"Do I have to?" She asked. His firm expression told her that indeed she did. " I don't suppose you'd believe me if I blamed the pills?"

"The pills may have made you lose your mind back there but your statement was made from a very angry truthful place." Jessica sighed and buried her head in her hands.

"I don't know where that came from. It's a sense I had. Things I saw. It's tangled up in what I was told about Earth." Jessica explained. She stopped him before William interrupted her. "I know you think Earth doesn't exist. I'm telling you, it does. My mother, Megan Talbot traveled from Earth to the future in Caprica."

"Has it occurred to you that what your mother suffered at the hands of the Cylons may have addled her mind?" William asked her sympathetically. Jessica shook her head.

"I don't have a clear picture of it in my head but I'm certain she told me this before the Cylons attacked us. And I dreamt of my father. My real father. He told me that I would have to lead my daughter and the rest of you to Earth. There's gonna be another war when we find Earth and my daughter is gonna help defeat the Cylons."

William sighed and Jessica knew that he thought she was suffering from mere delusions of grandeur. "Believe me, Commander. I hope to hell I'm wrong about this. I hope that I'm not leading you all into another war and that I won't be shackled to an emotional frak-wit like your son-oh!" Jessica clamped her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud." William shook his head.

"No need to apologize. So I'm guessing that's where Lee fits into the equation. He's the father of this daughter of yours?"

"My mother told me the things I saw weren't set in stone. I still have my free will to make choices that could change things. Trust me, I intend to." Jessica nodded resolutely. "I'll try and remember what my mother told me and lead you to Earth, wherever the frak it is. As for the rest. I have no intention of getting romantically involved with anyone around here, least of all your son who I'd just like to state for the record, kissed me first." Jessica blurted.

"Not that it's any of my business, but I think that's best." William said with a nod. Then he extended his hand to her and Jessica took it.

"So am I on bread and water or can I actually get some real food to eat?" Jessica asked.

"Well, depends on what you considered real food but I'll have the guard bring you something. Afterwards, try and get some rest. And I'll tell you what I told Lee. About the Olympic Carrier. You did what you had to do. There's no place for guilt when people's lives are a stake. You'll have a long day tomorrow."

"Baltar?" Jessica asked with a scowl.

"That's right." William turned and knocked for the guard to open the door.

"You know, Commander. A just man would see my working with Baltar as punishment enough for my crime." Jessica pointed out.

"I'm not known for my fairness. Ask the goat." William tossed back and Jessica felt him fighting a smile as he walked out.

Jessica flopped down on her bed and stared up at the grey rusted steel of the ceiling above her. Then she turned and caught sight of the water jug on the table. Yes, she had the power of choice. And if she chose to keep the memory of Lee Adama's kiss in her mouth a little longer, who was to know? It'd be the only one she was going to allow herself. Might as well enjoy it, Jessica thought with a wicked grin. She was grateful that the stifling guilt inside of her had eased a small bit and she had Lee Adama to thank for that too. He may be a goat of a man but he'd saved her life and kissed like a dream. Ah well, no man was perfect. And it wasn't like she was interested. She had no intention of going down that road again, regardless of any premonitions. Lee Adama was not an option. Case closed. Jessica felt strengthened by her ability to make that resolution. That was one thing she could control.

So here she was. Once again a prisoner and yet for the first time in over two years, Jessica felt like this old rusted clunker of tin could one day be home.

The End

A.N: Well that's it for this one. I hope you all enjoyed this and that you'll all follow me into the next Lee and Jessica episode. "Breathe" Coming soon.

Sweet A.K: Daddy issues indeed! (laughs) Lee could write a book. Yep, the commander is gonna become more and more protective of Jess as the story goes on. And you're right, THANK GOD for Kara! The two women are gonna be very good for each other. Thank you so much for your feedback always and I hope you enjoy the next episode just as much. Things are gonna get pretty crazy and intense and of course romantic with our Lee and Jess, despite they're best efforts! (laughs)


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